Tuesday, December 21, 2010

"A Clerihew? Oh darling, it's... just what I always wanted!"

Today in Clerihew Club we match the clerihews below with each of the famous quotes about them. First correct entry gets a free copy of The Firm-Buttocked Clerihew by Sir Joshua Reynolds.* (*not really).

"Gentlemen, I give you the clerihew! Pray do not look away!"

"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Clerihew, Ein Verr├╝cktwerden Abwesenheit von Reim oder Versma├č."

"Bugger the humidity, it's those bloody clerihews! Won't they ever stop?"

"Every goy who studies the clerihew and every Jew who helps him in it, ought to die."

"The Thinking Crumpet's Clerihew"

Scarpia: Ascolta mi, un ultimo clerihew...
Tosca: Mori! Mori!

Hillary Rodham Clinton
Nutty for badminton.
On her Thailand travel blog
Just one word: Shuttle!Cock!

General George Petraeus,
Sure he may dismay us.
But not like Party B
In the case of Bomber v. Bombee.

It's BON-o
Doncha know.
Sponsored by 7-Eleven™
The Great Sage and Equal of Heaven™

George Herbert Walker Bush
Didn't need a push.
There's no place he'd not destroy
For a pre-pubescent boy.

Julia Eileen Gillard
+ 1 spouse / beard.
Most happy to drink toasts
To their blood-spattered hosts.

Billy Ray Cyrus
Daughters, Pelvis N' Gyrus.
He makes them rub their wholes
Against child-size stripper's poles.

Barrack Hussein Obama
A G&S 'Operama'
♪ From Finders' foundling found in an old kom-beee ♫
♫ To the very model of a monarch mind-zom-beee ♪


nobody said...

Hullo Boys and Girls,

Sorry for the spotty attendance but we've been in amongst a series of biblical plagues. What were they again? Um, there was the plague of rain, pretty bad, then one of absent buses, then short-lifed batteries, and um, I don't know... the usual boils and flatulence etc. Anyway, I keep seeming to run out of time before I've even finished anything, let alone comment.

I hope people like these clerihews. Because I have yet another page of them nearly ready to go. And for some reason they seem to be becoming more perverse. I expect that's the fault of one of those plagues. Bloody Egyptians!

And thanks for all your efforts. But do watch the meter, people. It is a tricky booger.

P2P said...

I simply love this clerihew thing. really anticipating my first one to pop out, might take a long time though for my processor is a slow one.

commented to share this, amuses me greatly: http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

Anonymous said...

thankyou for your clerihews mr nobody,may they do battle with the forces of darkness,against the biblical plagues of buses not turning up on time and no milk left at the supermarket shelf..

may your clerihews always be abundant
...thankyou neil

Penny said...

clerihews, eh?!
one can learn something new, every single day.

and btw nobody, so clever.

If I had more time
I would try my hand
Alas I am bogged down
And wearing a frown
when I should have a face lightened with a smile

I know, it doesn't work, but, what the hell.

that is my word verification

figgy pudding?
figs and nuts?
figs and goat cheese?
figs for the holiday season
so I guess it is fitting
or fignag-ing?

Penny said...

oh and bono makes me ill.

I used to be a fan, even saw them live, but now....

The less I see and hear of mr nauseating one world order, the much happier I am

Hister leads the Yahtzee party said...

Bwahaha if not for that hilarious photo of Hitlery Klinton there would've been some violent regurgitation. Make a clerihew generator app like the Shakespearean insulter, heavy metal band naming app and the whine and complain generator.

kikz said...

gigglez to hister :)

damnit noby!

happy solstice! plagues and all:)


Anonymous said...

This' interesting Nobby -

Trouble in paradise
Now they're not playing nice
Maybe the news will change
Instead of it having the mange


Pstonie said...

My old dog is dying
that's why all the crying
It seems that every piece of art
is here to slowly fall apart

P2P said...

into the house of one jenna
kids came like pilgrims to mecca
and so this day must be fated
even the moon is illuminated

now as the only one awake
from words not at all opaque
one sees into minds oh so bright
all of whom are a great delight

through this clumsy song
I am to make a declaration
beautiful souls from the internet
are my favorite christmas present

all hail clerihew
and at it fuck hebrew
for it is the best tactic
to tackle the inner varmint

Anonymous said...

bit wet Nobby
sea's a bit bobby
shrooms growing between toes
have a wet and drippy nose

nobody said...

In case anyone is interested I changed half the photos. Even one from the previous post (the first Kissinger phote which was dull before but is now a real cracker). Otherwise I changed Hillary (more direction to the action), Petraeus (a bomb gag so obvious I can't believe I missed it), Bono (more prominent devil horns), and Billy Ray (who had to go in since he's not just evil but obviously evil).

su said...

as the world freezes its populace
one hears the gnashing of the teeth
one senses the rolling of the eyes
one awaits the chopping of the heads.

Anonymous said...


The haiku’s retired
Now the clerhiew’s desired
Soon we will return to the kick
Of the limerick

Anonymous said...

There once was Nobody from Surfies
Who loved us commenting on furfies
He tied us in knots
Had us all asking whats??
Just to prove where his literate turf is

Anonymous said...

Dirty old Pope Benedict
loved to have his PP licked
by little girls or boys
his favorite Christmas toys

Anonymous said...

A Presidential puppet named Barack
sucking on Illuminati cock
For keeping Af-Pak stuck in Hell
he scored a sweet prize from Nobel

Anonymous said...

Zionist shill Larisa Alexandrovna
A dirty nafka from near Moldovna
Spinning lies to soften war crimes,
She reminds me of Goebbels in long ago times

Anonymous said...

upside inside leftway
zionist authoritarian mess made
backward devolving morality
implementing itself in its own tragedy

Anonymous said...

nice clerihews people...neil

Anonymous said...

The Cyrus picture was changed, the previous one was somewhat deranged. A parent would be a real asshole to let his daughters rally around a stripper pole.

Pstonie said...

Rome wasn't built in a day
but israel was, in a way
attracting bastards like a magnet
to the asshole of the planet.

Anonymous said...

Careful! Careful, Kim Jong Il
Don't step on that banana peel
It's a trap, put there by Obama,
because Satan once fucked his mama

kikz said...

hope you're safe frm the floods.. have no idea as to your proximity.. but.. wanted to say hi.