Monday, February 4, 2008

Me and You and Us


I'm a complete idiot. I usedn't to be. I used to be a model citizen. I was a cog in the advertising machine. I had an apartment, a motorcycle, a regular life. I had internet banking, credit cards, driver's license, insurance, power, gas and phone bills. I paid tax. But I never seemed to have any money for some reason. My apartment was not flash and my clothes were cheap. God knows where the money went. All of the above seemed to eat it.

I grew to hate it all. My work was bullshit - deadlines, stress, arguments, finger-pointing - all so that we might better convince teenagers to pester their parents to buy them more worthless shit. And God knows how many people excitedly asked about my job because their teenage kid wanted to do what I did, ha ha ha. Cringe! So hateful was it all, that I would go home and get stoned every night. But there's no future in being stoned. The Buddha was right about clouding the mind.

Outside of me, there was the world, or at least what I understood of it courtesy of Time magazine. I started reading it when I was ten if you can believe that. And it rendered me cleverly stupid for decades. Until the Iraq war whereupon I found myself driven to the net. I felt I had to do this what with Iraq making no sense at all, not even to a Time reader. There I realised that the utter disparity between the MSM and the net was impossible. If the war was such utter bullshit, what else was up for grabs? Ha! Everything! It was all bullshit. Everything I knew, was bullshit - the past, the present, the future. I had been deceived. I'm still pissed off about it.

But never mind. And yet as it was I simply couldn't continue. What to do? My genius plan was to gather all my friends, cash in our assets (I had the least of course) and buy a place in the country (for cash, natch) and make a commune and grow food. This was to be no leisurely walk, it was a sprint, said I. What an idiot. My friends had jobs, mortgages, kids in school - all the ties that bind. None of them liked their jobs but that was beside the point. And crucially they weren't on the net (not beyond anyway) and didn't believe anything I was saying. The net's 99% shit, said they. It is if you don't seek, said I uselessly. Really, what was I thinking of? It was a fool's errand. There was to be no collective. It was just me.

And sure, myriad things happened in between then and now. Whatever. I arrived at a singular place. I now no longer officially exist. No bank, no tax, no name on anything. It's do-able, but barely. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But I am free and I have nothing to lose. There's a lot to be said for it. Ask any bum.


And what? Do I really think I have something to say worth listening to? Ha ha ha. Yeah, why not? Everyone, do what I've done! I recommend it! Render yourself penniless. Live on fresh air. Be a disappointment to everyone you know. At this time, in this society, only an idiot would do such a thing.

But that was now - this is then. And 'then' is what's coming. And something is coming. Who knows what precisely. Or when. Let's just say that it will look nothing like now. Everything we understand will be blown to the weeds. We'll look at each with other with appalled, dismayed faces. We'll watch it on the TV. Not on the net. It will be gone of course. It cannot be allowed to live. In fact this confessional tone is on account of us maybe not having much time left. Better to get last words in early, than too late. I could be wrong about the timing. My record is pretty good, except for the timing. And timing alone will make a fool of a man. In the age of instant gratification, a prediction that doesn't come true straight away is obviously bullshit.

To hell with timing. I just wonder if the things that empower us might not enslave us. Did somebody say power? It's an interesting word. Consider its two senses here - They who have the power have the power. It's obvious really. And you? You don't have power - the corporations do. And they sell it to you. Or not. Enron showed us how power works. That's why the government is uninterested in spending money on providing each home with solar energy. Power may not be so dissipated. The money will be spent to ensure power is concentrated in the hands of a few. That's why Australia, the sunburnt country, is absurdly talking about nuclear energy. Think this through - give equal time to the concept of who ends up with the power.

And money? No one needs money. In and of itself, it's useless. It's merely a contrivance to create a buffer between you and your real needs - food and shelter. The monopoly that controls money controls your relationship with food and shelter. If you control your own food and shelter (and power, sure) you are free of the control of others. Easier said than done, ha ha. That's the whole idea. On your own it's nearly impossible. The ties that bind are there to ensure it doesn't happen. A collective response is the only answer. Anyone who wants to hang on to the mad dream of individuality will be doomed. It will not be possible without surrendering oneself to the power of others. It suits them to have you 'stand' divided. It can't be done. Those divided, fall. Those united, stand. You know this is true.

What then does this fool have to say to you? Be mindful. Wonder at the nature of the things you 'need'. Do they free you or shackle you? Can you escape? How? Cast off fear. It is the opposite of thought. It not only stops you coming up with answers, it stops you coming up with questions. Your fear suits those who would control you. Let go of the self. It is the source of fear. People obsessed with themselves doom others. And ultimately themselves as well. Uniting with others will dissipate your fear and make you stronger.


Forget 'me'. Forget 'you'. There's no future in it. Only 'we' can prevail. United we stand, divided we fall.


Anonymous said...

Of course it can be done nobody. And simply.
All you need is resolve (belief in what you are doing, no second thought).
Make sure you have got most of it right before you start though.
I was 35 when I decided to do what I had to do.
Well, the first time I was 19; and I did it.
And then tweaked things at 60.
So you can if you want.
Yes, people (especially family) will look at you funny.
But don't let people get away with that. Do your funny things so that they see.
You may get through. Probably not but maybe.

Anonymous said...

I must say nobody just looking through your article again.
You must have a sense of self worth.
I have always needed that so I've made sure it was always there.
Your self worth again must have some substance to it; some value.
This' a big subject mate. I'm sure GWB has no self worth. I'm sure little Kevin does but it's probably misdirected. Gough did. Does this make sense?

nobody said...

Sorry Tony,

I'm not sure if you're urging me to have the aforementioned sense or conceding that I do.

Mind you, I'm unable to tell you if I do or not, ha ha.

Certainly, everyone I know considers me mad. The fly in their ointment is that I'm utterly rational. Not forgetting the fact that they agree with everything I say except for the last final step. That I take one step further than they do comprises my madness.

Anyway I figure I'm either sane in a mad world or mad in a sane one. With me being so perfectly at odds with everything connected to white society, does that say more about me or society? Let's put it to the vote, ha ha ha.

As for self-worth, humans define themselves by those around them. And here I am, having removed myself from society, urging people to stick together. Irony ain't in it. But for me, the society I've removed myself urges everyone (and I was part of this machine) to think only of themselves. Every ad ever made does precisely this. It's an anti-society. THAT society I want no part of. But that's all there is. And here I am, a pathetic single voice calling to the wilderness, urging people to think of each other. Ha ha ha ha. What a dickhead.

But self-worth? Beats me mate.

Anonymous said...

You couldn't do what you do (and what you have done omg!) if you didn't have a sense of self worth nobody.
Be honest with yourself mate, you are clever.
I like 'strange' people, they are not the run of the mill average every day hb. They are interesting.
I told this to my sister the other day and she replied with 'Birds of a feather Tony'. I'm happy with that.

nobody said...

Cheers mate,

I usually make it a rule not to get into conversations about myself. When other people do it I'm quick to tick the 'insecure' box. And here I am doing it right now. How tiresome.

Otherwise in much the same way I didn't have kikz pegged as a chick, I didn't have you pegged as older than me, ha ha. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Anonymous said...

I'll turn 116 soon nobody

nobody said...

As they say in Singapore -

Meth-user, la!