Monday, December 14, 2009

Carbon Trading? Free Money!

Carbon trading, eh? How does that work then? Why don't I try and explain it to myself.

Polluting is bad and planting trees is good. For bad read 'negative', and good, 'positive'. To balance the scale a polluter needs to plant trees so that his negative score comes back to a neutral 'zero' value. He won't plant any trees himself of course (not unless the press is there, ha ha). Besides were he to do so who'd need a middleman? And whether we need them or not, God knows we must have middlemen. Sure enough carbon trading is a middleman's wet dream and that's why we're going to get it even if everyone except the middleman has to die in the attempt. Ha, now that I think about it, global warming could happily be described as 'a middle man, his invented product, and the fight to turn us all into buyers and sellers'.

But it is true that polluting is bad and planting trees is good. At least we can all agree on that. Just like we all agreed that Saddam possessing WMD's was bad and that a democratic Iraq would be good. Only some crazy pro-WMD, anti-democracy, tyrant-loving loony would have argued otherwise. And even if we suspected at the time that there was something screwy in amongst the arguments for war, at least it was all for a good cause. And didn't that turn out well! Iraq is now a thriving WMD-free democracy and we only had to kill 5% of the population to do it. And so it is with carbon trading: a few fudged figures, a few billion dollars rorted, but it's all for a good cause and only some crazy environment-hating pollution lover in the pay of Big Oil could possibly speak against it.

Hmm... here's the same argument from a different tack: To say that if global warming was bullshit, some scientist would win fame and fortune by proving it, is worth precisely as much as saying (way back when) that if Saddam didn't have WMD's, some journalist would win a Pulitzer by being the first (and only) guy to say so. So much for that argument. In the run up to the war not a single journalist did the obvious and googled Scott Ritter. Impossibly the world's most famous weapons inspector became a media unperson. And that Pulitzer? Ha ha ha, what's the point of a Pulitzer if you're black-banned from the entire industry? It's not called a 'bloc-media' for nothing. And just like there was a songbook for Iraq's WMD's and everybody had to sing from it, same-same for global warming.

Otherwise never mind the old polluting bad, planting trees good, how about steal from the rich to give to the poor? Did somebody say Robin Hood? How about Double Plus Good! Welcome to carbon trading, wherein finally we all win the lottery. The big fat-cat polluters will have to buy carbon credits and they'll have to come crawling on their knees to the forest owning poor. Who but a crazy pro-rich anti-poor weirdo could be against it? Honestly what's not to like in this idea?

I don't know... how about the fact that it's bullshit? The wealthy of this world would sooner eat their own heads than hand their money over to the poor. Sure enough they won't be doing any such thing. Rather, what they'll be doing is forcing the poor to sign their lives away (at gunpoint if necessary) for some feathers, mirrors, and glass beads. Then they sit and wait. They wait like Alan Greenspan and his proxies waited after they handed out free money to every man jack who couldn't afford a mortgage. Alan and his very good friends didn't care that the loans could never be repaid. They knew how worthless the imaginary money was. They just wanted all the land. Or everyone homeless. Or some combination of the two, now that I think about it. And they got it. Well, not all of it yet but don't worry, they're very patient fellows.

Meanwhile in New Guinea we can see the feathers gag happening in real time (SBS pt 1) (SBS pt 2) (SBS pt 3). And the falsity is beyond obvious. Laws not in place? No idea who the owners are? The ministry in charge of it all so utterly corrupt it was actually disbanded? Doesn't matter! No need to take my word for it, watch that vid and see the pell-mell rush to sign up anybody with a pulse. And the local governor complained to the Australian government about the whole sordid affair did he? Ha ha ha ha ha - Mate, the government of K Rudd is precisely as interested in the crookedness of a land grab in New Guinea as they are in the crookedness of a the land grab in Australia's own Northern Territory. Which is to say, not. Which is to say they're a party to it. K Rudd and the middle men? Best of friends!

Otherwise if you view global warming/cooling as a flat out con suddenly all the inconsistencies and contradictions become no such thing and actually make perfect sense. As our death cult leaders haggle over precisely how little to give to the third world in order to snaffle up what bits of virgin forest remain, the rest of it continues to be cut down at a rate of football fields per hour. If you really want to know where the West's head is at in regard to rainforests etc ask yourself where all that clear-felled Indonesian timber is going. Indonesia? Not bloody likely. It's for us in the fat-cat West. If those disappearing Sumatran forests were truly going to put the PTB's beachside properties under water, we'd spend as much time halting Indonesian freighters carrying timber as we do ships bearing humanitarian supplies bound for Palestine. But we don't do that because the PTB want that timber for the decking of their beachside property (which of course is no more likely to be sunk than the Israelis are to quit being psycho-killers). The cutting down of the rain forests is many things (and all of them fucked) but a global climate changer ain't one of them. Our death cult PTB tells us this themselves.

There will be climate change and no mistake. What's coming is coming. And sure enough, the death cult knows this. Knowledge is power - literally: the words 'know' and 'noble' come from the same root. Our ignoble nobility know what's coming and of course they bend that knowledge to accord with the single thrumming refrain in their head: what's in it for me - it's all about me - me uber alles - if not me, none - me, me, me, ad nauseam. It's all they have and they are nothing if not predictable. And speaking of predictable - Of course they lie and tell us it's for our own good! Of course they stampede us with fear! Always this way! Like these simpleton, one-note, trickster motherfuckers ever pass up a chance? Honestly.

Hey Tricksters! Fuck you! You're bullshit and obvious with it. A tuppence for the lot of you.

Oh, and you can stick your global warming up your arse.


nobody said...

That SBS video link is not the story I wanted to link to. The one I wanted (that involves people's lives being threatened etc) immediately followed that and hasn't been posted on the SBS website. When it's up I'll link to it. In the meantime here's another story worth watching. In it the reasons why Pacific Islands are inundated with sea water is laid bare and yet everyone just carries on regardless. But really it's typical of the disconnect that comes with reporting global warming. Yoroshiku.

Penny said...

oh nobody, you are a blogger for exxon, yeah, you are siding with big oil and right wing think tanks...

shoot the messenger,shoot the messenger. The one post I put up last week the conversation carries on, and those are the accusations hurled at me...

Yet, one of the biggest f'n liars stood up yesterday and said there had to be a deal on Global warming, and the people who accept it unquestioningly don't wonder????

Penny said...

Oh, sorry nobody, there won't be any real trees planted, just fake carbon capture trees concoted by some company getting DOE money, read taxpayer dollars....

I think I need to swear some more..

I'll abbreviate it though./

F'n BS!!!

piety piet said...

hey nobbely bud, like your style, check mine:

it is staying up way beyond the stint i would term i would have bet on (were i a gambetting man, but i value contruals rather than outright memories of its earliest forms too highly: morphology x kinetic boneroll 'chance' x fracturation related forms ((coin of the realm casting like cernunnos did)) and besides, read too much caillois for that)

nobody said...

I've fixed the links on the front page to those SBS stories about the PNG carbon trading scams. BTW in PNG it's called 'air money', ha ha.

Hey Pen, that's you and me riffing on Xymphora yeah? Well there's nothing for it but to declare Xymphora as complete bullshit. I disagreed with him on any number of things but he's gotten so egregious now that it's idiotic. He's twisted himself into such mad contortions in order to stick to his positions that it's, I don't know... embarassing? And honestly when you've got more commenters disagreeing with you than vice versa it's time to get a clue. Or something. Anyway I'm not going to waste my time even popping in now. He's fully struck from my bookmarks.

And Piet! Er... Yes!

Anonymous said...


Oh yes, PNG, aren’t they the lot that shit on the heads of the proud people of Bougainville when they had the temerity to pop their heads up and say “Hey, what about us”? Hmm!

Another great cutting through the crap, post Mr N. I haven’t checked the links out yet, I am still ploughing my way through “After Dutroux” which is of more immediate interest, living in Belgium ‘n all. This article has a cast of more characters than all the Cecil B D Mills movies combined and all with such confusing names too. Even the frequent family trees of villains only help a little bit. It is hard work but I can’t put it down, I will catch up with you all shortly. Thanks Hei Hu Quan.

veritas6464 said...

Urgent dispatch for the immediate attention of nobody: great work.



Penny said...

Riffing on xymphora?
you could call it that.
Do you recall when stevieb left a link to anothe blog that he "deemed" credible?
And xymph gave it the nod.

Well check out the dirt I dug on the so called blogger, which is a PR firm!
Oh yeah, you read that right..
A PR firm with intersting money ties, don't wanna spoil it, get over to my blog and see what is counted as credible by Stevie B


Mskes stevieb even less credible IMO

nobody said...

And not forgetting he's a paedophile Pen. Xymph is disinfo, as are his crony yesmen Stevieb and Hoarse Whisperer. Frankly anyone who lives in the comments there has placed themselves on a very small continuum that has suspect at one end and undiscerning at the other.

Hey FB and cheers PG.

Anonymous said...

You see Mister Nobody my plan is working. I know climate change is cod's wallop, everyone knows climate change is cod's wallop, goodness gracious, even Tony Abbot knows. Now if that fool knows, how unclear is it for the third world leaders – they know too!
Hopefully if I throw a spanner in the works it will all collapse.
Your truthful Prime Minister
Kevin M Rudd

nobody said...

Hullo PM

How nice of you to take time out in freezing Copenhagen to pop in and say g'day.

I thought about it and I think I understand your strategy. Clearly from the comments at that ABC link of yours, most people now think you are bullshit. But they still think global warming is real! Dig it, it's a self-sacrifice strategy. You make yourself look bad and thus draw all the mud and shit-slinging towards yourself and away from global warming. Brilliant!

And what was that quote of yours? "I will always work in the interest of Australia"? Something like that. Anyway, Ha ha ha ha ha, good one! And people say you're not funny!

Anonymous said...

Mister Nobody, mate, I salute you.
"I will always govern in the national interest."
I am proud to have you as a constituent Mister Nobody, proud indeed.
Your proud Prime Minister
Howard M Rudd
er... um..
Kevin M Rudd

piety piet said...

got proof X is pedo?

now that i'm here, here is a poem:

do not make light of free-fall
stop making light unwelcome
help light engage + organize dark
climate = climbing (tree)limbz -
freelightfall - capcuptoyourdarkclimb
freelightrightaway - tiedembeddiedarclimb
freeyourlightrightofway - rootboundarkkklimb
bring the kkkers home, all whites back to european countryside,
empty the cities of content to their respective heritage,
buried in the disrepected, mocked and polluted portions
of whichever cultural memory,
lurk thousand year old real roots and million year older roots
each their own real limbs to climb*,
each their own real fruitful and pleasant microclime.

nobody said...

Actually PM, I been thinking about that African chappy who said you were behaving like a global warming denier. Why can people never make the leap? You know, like those people you see on the TV, who've known whomever it is all their life and upon being told that they're a terrorist struggle to believe it? Why struggle? Why not just reject it and say that it's bullshit?

And this African fellow... why doesn't he just come to the obvious conclusion and figure that the reason you're behaving like a 'denier' is because you don't in fact believe any of it and are actually going through the motions for entirely cynical purposes.

It's like taking a step over a threshold. This fellow has slid his weight over to his left foot, with his right leaving the ground, his right arm swings back to balance the leg coming forward and he now straightens his leg and cocks his heel to strike the ground and then... and then he freezes. He does not complete the step. He just stands there with his foot out, hovering over the threshold and acting as if that's normal.

Mate! Complete the step! Arrive at the obvious conclusion! Let the other shoe drop!

He won't of course...

Piet: "How do you know he is a witch?"
Screaming nobody: "Because he looks like one!"

It's a bit of a long story Piet but it was all Stevieb's own work. Thinking it was a straightforward disinfo job he turned up with only a Spear and Jackson No. 3 shovel and then proceeded to dig a dirty great hole for himself right underneath the McMartin pre-school. Oops. In the end I declared him 'person most likely to score a gig with the False Memory Syndrome Foundation', stuck a fork in him, and he was done. It mostly went down here.

piety piet said...

ok, will have a look .. soon as i am behind a terminal without the solcon christian filter ... but ... smearing Xymph per GBA is poor cause there was a rich history there before stevieb ever showed up there. .. i sure as hell don't expect to see proof let alone believe spoofproof that they are the same person

kikz said...


slozo said...

Carbon trading - a scheme to . . . no, they can't be that stupid, can they? . . . why yes, yes they can be . . . it won't really work for the hundredth time, will it? . . . oh yes it will, people love to think they are doing god's work . . . yup, you guessed it:

Raise! More! . . .. Taxes!!! (groan)

It's like a broken record, a recurring nightmare, a repetetive monosyllabic chant. No matter what, the general public always pay more, and no matter what, the truly super rich always keep their power.

MY dream is that Gore, in a fatal, ironic twist, has his jetliner crash in the arctic sea, then is frozen into the ice. A year later, an iceberg with a white corpse inside is discovered off the coast of Newfoundland . . .

. . . or, better yet, Gore lands on some huge ice floe for a photo op with a polar bear and is suddenly attacked and killed.

Either of those scenarios would work for me.

nobody said...

Well Slozo, you'll never get to be the Buddha that way but that doesn't mean it didn't crack me up. Nice one. (So nice in fact that I couldn't top you. Bastard!)

Hey Kikz, Is that a picture of you going mad? Or of me? It's definitely one of us >:)

Actually Piet I've been hanging at Xymphoras for maybe four years. Maybe more. And yet I never linked to the guy because I never quite trusted him. A vague vibe of 'something not right with this picture'. Mind you I wasn't quite prepared to badmouth him either.

Well, now with his bullshit positions on swine flu and global warming combined with his abject refusal to acknowledge the paedophocracy / mind-control mob (in spite of having his nose shoved in it), not forgetting of course his dismissal of banking as having anything to do with anything: okay, now I'm calling him. He is a limited hangout bullshit artist. I can't tell you what variety of limited-hangout he is exactly (I actually asked him to tell us, but as you well know he never deigns to participate in the comments), but really I don't give a shit. There's tons of bullshit artists out there and he's one of them.

A. Peasant said...

oh wow just read that post where you took him down that was the bomb nobody. truly.

the blogosphere is full of disinfo and it's much more insidiously and cleverly done than the cartoon bullshit on teevee. they have used the blogosphere to keep people -- exactly the kind of people who care and will do independent research -- busy busy busy running down dead end streets.

kikz said...

going mad?? Ahahahahahaha!

btdt.. hav the t-shirt!
(been there done that)

actually...i'm in recovery...

the last 8yrs is what i got the t-shirt for... living thru/surviving the (hopefully) last 'bush' handpuppet NaziGOP trademarked regime. at least the obama model makes less grammatical mistakes on air...

i don't understand how or why... someone who can't understand the 'rule' regarding the use of the word 'an' is allowed to open their mouth or act in any oAfficial capacity other than used-car salesman... other than possibly to appeal/engender feelings of kinship to/w the knuckle dragging mouth breathers i reluctantly share a continent w/.

at least this 'model' doesn't make up words. *eyeroll*

the >:) means i devilishly enjoyed this post :)

piety piet said...

perhaps a case where those of us who find a certain topic too 'gruselig' and/or 'gruwelijk' to touch or simply distractive, a waste of time etcetera, pass by over and them up without noting or being noticed much. I have strings and bundles of this nety nety labeling handy at all times as i try move a sturdily representative sample of total volume through my hands. Most anything out of the Aliens religions* and police state corners and camps easily and swiftly qualifies .. cause you can hardly show evil bastardites up without feeding them. Wrestling free and starving them is harder still when they have their probes, taps and tabs on you in so many prudential and seemingly friendly ways. Talk about biblical birthrights#. Do not believe in condemning insurance like some radicals do though (Dan Winter?).

*Cooper yuk .. AJones barf .. Glen Kealy Haha .. lived with brothers looking just like him, they were/are? from a Montana family of mulehandlers who put on dresses, built marble wall earthshelters and planted orchards in Arkansas, used a phonetically spelled language ...

# Love how some bible haters like Alex Linder condemn Jews for being so invasive and yet manage to show themselves jew with a double duew for fiercely denying they are anything of the sort and worse while wanting to not only keep on considering themselves land of the Free citizens and cleaner uppers but on top of that stop blacks from not only 'abusing' but being in africa altogether. They consider themselves way better you see. And to prove it they seem to focus on eliminating what is worse rather than being a role model that does more than flap lips for hours on end and do cognitarian chores like commenting forummating.

I would dole around 200 more Xymphs easily if i could .... some of his commenters are just the very funniest on the web.

su said...

good one nobs.
made me smile wide and broad.

su said...

A must read on the McCann case.
Should be everywhere.

Anonymous said...


Here is synchronicity; check this out.

nobody said...

Su! You gotta link mate? I googled 'bodyno' and couldn't see anything that appeared significant.

Otherwise thanks folks. And Kikz I got that t-shirt too but I swapped it for some dried squid and a couple of Yanjing beers.

Ha! For everyone who grooves on being able to say, 'Dos cervezas per favor' in Mexico, in Beijing you say, 'Yanjing pijo liangurr shi shieh' and then you must scream 'Binda! Binda!' which means cold, because otherwise they'll serve it to you warm.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Nobody - in particular: check it out!

whad'ya reck'n?

Boogie boogie boogie- the sky is falling! Let's count those weapons of mass destruction!

Nice volley of comments to!


Penny said...

I am going to wade in here, I am not sure that xymph is disinfo, stevieb is however " some piece of work" and I mean that in a totally sarcastic way...

What I think xymph is?
run of the mill "lefty"

I saw another blogger being taken to task for a stance on carbonhagen, same as mine, the questioning one, the what the hell is really going on stance.

She was told her stance on Israel/Palestine was good, but her stance on carbonhagen, wrong!

Her comment was to the effect that she wasn't going to live by some supposed "lefty" credo.

I went over and applauded her.

Cause in one post I have a fellow name Brian with that same attitude.
Like I am supposed to set aside all common sense,despite the obviousness of the scam, and be a good "lefty"
Can't do it.
I gave up the left/right game long ago. I just go issue by issue now, that is it.
Xymph hasn't given it up, hence the comments on the swindle flu scam. Hence the limited hang out kind of stuff.

Piet is right some of the commenters are plain hilarious...
Some have very rightfully taken xymph to task and still are...
Unless xymph breaks free of his/hers self-imposed boundaries, they are wasting there time..

That said I to was reading xymph long before I started the ol' blog up.....

Anonymous said...


Did anybody else notice Obama’s brass neck cynicism in Copenhagen? First he exports most of the manufacturing industry abroad then he threatens the countries that now have the industry for polluting the atmosphere. “We will know who you are” said he in his best pompous voice. Break out the stars and stripes for a quick wave, hail to the chief.

Anonymous said...

Mister Nobody
Last Friday I was staring into the abyss as far as carbon control was concerned but peering so very far for so very long gave me (no, not a headache, but) one of my more brilliant ideas.
What if I arrange to have carbon cops in the federal police - brilliant?
(Thinks: I could have Mister Keelty head up the department, mmm…)
A win win - more jobs, more fines, increased prices – more GST, etc. etc.
Along with my internet censorship I am certainly looking after the Australian people’s interest, aren't I Mister Nobody?
Your favourite Prime Minister of Australia
Kevin M Rudd

nobody said...

He's a curious run-of-the-mill lefty Pen. He's anti-Jewish (!) but he won't mention banking. And he's pro vaccine.

Otherwise if the twin pillars of power are Rothschilds/banking and paedophocracy/mind-control, what are we to make of a bloke who won't concede the existence of either of them? How will that conversation make sense? It doesn't obviously, just like his daft phrase 'anti-assimilation land'. Frankly I think he's worth condemning for that bit of contrived nonsense alone.

FB - that and his apologia for war peace prize acceptance speech.

Hullo PM. That is a genius idea. You are without doubt a prince amongst sheepherders. Today the Australian sheeple can hold their heads high knowing that the eclipse of our rights, the loss of press freedom, our ability to put up with intrusive, heavyhanded policing, to think little of our participating in illegal wars, our willingness to believe shockingly bad lies, all of this and world war too, is all world's best practice.

And if not that, then there's that old standby the best in the Southern Hemisphere.

Oz waves the flag, pats itself on the back, and thumb up plum declares, 'What a good boy am I!"

Anonymous said...

'world's best practice' indeed Noby.
They all seem to be reading from the same manual.
I've probably mentioned this before; every time I am set aside for an unwarranted inspection by the 'authorities' I am giving them a mouth full - politely of course. It's a rule – from my best practices manual – Pavlov’s Dog helped write it.
At airports for explosives inspection – eg. ‘get a proper job’
For a ‘license check’ – eg. ‘thank you for trampling on my civil rights’
For a breathalyser – eg. ‘check the stats as to how effective this is’
etc. etc. Simple in the saying they all conjure a reaction.
I would encourage all to do the same, although my friends think I am nuts and get angry at my antics.

nobody said...

Tony! Long time no see etc etc. And you stick it up 'em mate. What with being a perpetual pedestrian (and with the jetsetting behind me) I never encounter authority figures anymore. Have a good Christmas mate.

nobody said...

Actually, God knows when I'll get my act together and write another piece. So why don't I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year now? Um... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

You too Nobody.

gallier2 said...

Joyeux Noël et meilleurs voeux pour la nouvelle année.

Fröhliche Weihnachten und guter Rutsch ins neue Jahr.


I could copy-paste now from the wish email we got at work, to fill in the other 21 language versions of the wishes. But I prefered to make 'em authentic and in the real languages I master.

A. Peasant said...

merry christmas and happy new year to you, mr. nobody, you are a most delightful presence on the interwebs and i'm sure in person too. enjoy the holidays with your loved ones and may the peaceful be victorious in 2010.

james said...

Nobby, please don't publish this if it is a duplicate, ta.

Merry Christmas to you Nobby and all. It's been an education and the company has been enjoyable, too. Happy smiley thing!

nobody said...

Weirdly I lobbed in today thinking there'd be no comments but I'd forgotten that you people are all fart oo nice. How lovely you all are.

For those who aren't sure what Gallier's contributions say, I helpfully ran them through babelfish and found the translations -

"With cracking underpant firmly on, victory is assured."


"The wise man will spruce a firling grommet poutly."

Those whacky Euros! They don't make a lick of sense do they?!

(Sorry Gallier, I couldn't help myself there. And no need to explain, we get it. Thanks mate.)

Anonymous said...


Ditto from FB too.

Not that anybody is at all that interested but just for completeness, in this particular bit of Euroland it goes: Prettige Kerstdagen en Gelukkig Nieuwjaar.

All the best for the big dipper of 2010.

Penny said...

Hey nobody!

Sorry I missed out, enjoy your holidays however it is you may.

Be Happy, Have fun and keep in mind some people who think well of you are really not that far away!


oh and same for everyone else!
All you good people out there somewhere.....
Joy to the World!

kikz said...

happy solstice to all!

nobody said...

Thanks you guys,

And what with the library being shut for Christmas that's me outta here for a week or so. All the best! Ciao Ciao.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas from Aangirfan!

slozo said...

Like Kikz said, Meeeeeeerrry Solstice!

Let the celebration of the birth of the Sun begin!

Everybody hang around the pine tree with many coloured ornaments, kiss under the mistletoe, and await the arrival of a man dressed in a red pointy hat to dole out gifts!

I'll wish you well despite the holidays, Nobody ;)

john said...

Cheers nobody

I'm late as usual but I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best to you for the new year. You've written loads of great stuff here this year and I'd like to thank you very much for all your good work. Hope you're having a good one.

nobody said...

John, always lovely to have you in mate - easily my favourite resident of Devon. The best to yourself and the Maid. How are your brass monkeys? Ungelded I hope.

I'm not sure if anyone else would be popping in at this late date to read responses but cheers Aangirfan, you're a national treasure. And onya Slozo.

Oh, can I rewind back to Veritas/PG? Mate, I read your comment over at the Petri Dish (was it?) and thought it was very good. It helped me hang a picture on your name kind of thing. And you weren't talking about me? No problems but now I'm wondering - could it be possible that some of those 94M google hits that 'nobody' scores aren't actually about me either? Surely not!