Friday, June 19, 2009


Oh look, it's a picture of me, or a caricature at any rate. My friend Ledge did this in celebration of my mad Cossack beard. But never mind the beard, it's gone now and who cares?

It's the expression on my face that's interesting. Look at that furrowed brow. Ledge drew this just after he and I had come back from a cafe in Mullimbimby (aren't Australian place names great?) where I'd met an Englishman keen to impress upon me the wickedness of Jewish people. He'd given me a bunch of articles to read, all of which extolled the virtues of racial purity. Sure enough, I'm the wrong fellow for this and I threw his stuff out, and then Ledge and I sparked up and spent the rest of the afternoon inventing mad worlds and laughing our heads off. We like a laugh, Ledge and I.

But never mind the ageing stoners, right there in the picture is the battle for my face. As I slowly approach fifty and the wrinkles get deeper, it seems it's a race of who-gets-there-first between the crow's feet I have from smiling, and the Billy Joel-esque furrow I get from frowning. And I'm wondering if the frown isn't winning.

Lately over at Su's place I've been struck, or a chord has been, by Su's, um, I don't know, having had enough of it all? Would I be wrong in imagining that what Su describes in this piece, followed by this (as a bookend of sorts) are variations of what we're all going through? Spending every day reading of the stepped-in-blood activities of the death cult PTB really does do your head in. 'Basta!' as the Italians say, 'Enough! I get it already.' Honestly, don't these self-impressed fuckers ever get sick of it? Their relentless revelling in filth and degradation, and all to keep themselves in Savile Row suits, super yachts, and rape victims. God help me - I'm sick of them, and I'm sick of their shit.

And my face tells me daily. The muscles through my jaw, temples, and forehead ache from the perpetual tension. I've mentioned before I have bad teeth. But they usedn't to be. They used to be the best teeth money could buy until I ground them down. And now every morning I wake up with an exhausted face.

And lately I've realised that the tension is there during the waking hours too. And whilst the answer is as simple as relaxing my muscles, this is easier said than done. I relax my jaw and within seconds I find it's back to its default 'jut' mode. It's like pushing water uphill, a Sisyphean battle.

Funnily enough, martial arts is, amongst other things, the mastery of relaxation. It took me years to understand even the basics of how to relax my limbs, and the variety of internal tension required for a good stance. And just lately the words of one of the instructors came back to me - 'Your face should have a slight smile on it'. I didn't think about it at the time since I was too busy with my hips, thighs, back and shoulders, but it's a thing worth keeping in mind. If anyone wants to know what the smile should look like exactly, just check a Theravadan statue of the Buddha.

With this in mind I remembered a documentary I saw about a Japanese Buddhist sect, wherein the practitioners would ritualistically laugh together. The priest declared that happiness makes you laugh and laughing makes you happy. And sure they looked like a pack of weirdos, but that's beside the point. The nerve pathways transmitting electrical signals from the brain to the muscles aren't a one-way street. The stimulus that drives the response can likewise be driven by that response. It's a bit like how sexual arousal will dilate the pupils, but dilated pupils will cause sexual arousal. This is why romantic dinners are candle-lit, and if you want to get laid, you don't go to McDonalds. Well, that and a thousand other reasons, ha ha.

But to hell with McDonalds, I've been smiling. And it's spooky how happy I feel. What starts out feeling slightly false, takes on a life of its own. Within seconds the smile ceases to be false and I feel good. And whilst this isn't about to instantly undo years of muscle memory and the tension it brings, it's easily better than me thinking 'relax' and then forgetting again one second later.


Sure enough, weltschmerz wouldn't be weltschmerz if one could knock it on the head merely by smiling. But it's a good start. A trip of a thousand miles starts with a single step. What with having had to relocate my internet venue to the next town over, all manner of things, of paths to be travelled, have revealed themselves to me. Down the road from the library is a yoga/meditation centre. In the other direction is an art supply shop. And as soon as I can find a camera store, I'll get back into photography.

I'm not about to abandon writing. It's far too much fun, and besides, I like reading my own stuff, ha ha. But that doesn't mean I have to spend all day head down in the laptop buried in misery. Not forgetting that anyone suffering from weltschmerz, overcome with dismay and despair, is doing precisely what they're meant to. The death cult laughs in derision. Yeah well, they can go fuck themselves. I refuse to behave as they expect.

I'll look at the world with my eyes open. I'll acknowledge the wickedness that exists. And then I'll respond in the manner of my own choosing. To hell with letting the world eat me alive. Rather, I'm going to view the world as my oyster, and then let's see who eats whom, ha!


Franz said...

Good luck... nobody knows better there's lotsa starts-and-endings this season.

I have shamelessly raked over some of your past stuff (& prob'ly will some more) for the wife. She had tendonitis surgury 2 weeks back, mosly the medicos spend boodles of bucks inflicting great pain. So I'm mined ideas for her and it's helping some.

She's Polish (originally) and an odd one to be Buddhist, but I've always loved it (even did yoga for 25 years) so it's all uphill here, but fun.

Believe it or not she likes your movie reviews best. She has high standards; young 20s in the 70s she hated disco but saw everything Bruce Lee ever made -- WHEN IT CAME OUT! I was too busy with overtime and missed all of it.

I'm a Kali man all the way, which keeps us centered. Kali, goddess of destruction, gets my nod since if she weren't officially the Yuga in progress, we'd have to re-name it and make it hers anyway.

And if you take a trip or something, rent a copy of Mel Gibson's THE PATRIOT. Not for the sheep-dipper history flick, no. The tomahawk scenes. Mel even took a rubber tomahawk to bed with him! It shows! At one point, YOUTUBE had a nine-minute clip of all Mel's good tomahawk moves from the movie.

Every axehead I hammer to 99 hard or drop-forge cold, I dedicate to Kali, the wife, you blogger fellas, all my pals and death to the scumbag Cheney bastards. It puts my smile there. At the anvil or on the run, it't the champ. Ask Mel.

john said...

Basta indeed. Smiling seems like a good idea too.

We're aware of all this terrible stuff going on around us and every day seems to come up with new horrors but we still have to live in it all somehow and not get buried by the misery.

The country here keeps going to war for no good reason, I sit in a garden and listen to insects and birds but far away people are being killed, we have huge protests about not wanting wars but our protests are ignored, we did not do enough.

I often wish that I could do more to change things but I am only one person though hopefully if we all do a little bit some bigger difference may be made, and if not so be it but at least we try. New pathways, new possibilities.

the Silverfish said...

Ah yes Mr Chuckles, that's me all over, smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown with 6 billion others who are circling the drain,(counter clockwise in OZ or so I'm told).

Yep a day without a smile is like a day without sunshine, well it's pissing with rain here so go figure.

Not to put too fine a point on it but in general life just stinks and I do so dislike people who walk around with those shit eating grins on their faces for no good reason whatsoever, it's So fucking fake. It's like seeing the smile on a used car salesman, or a tv evangelist for fuck sakes.

Enuff for poking little buttons on a phone, makes me frown and we can't have that now can we?

Von Curtis said...

Yep we have got to keep smiling and live more in peace with each other and other countries. The death cult elite don't like peace breaking out between people and countries - they stay in power by divide and conquer and giving people an enemy.

It is a bit of a schock to find out the British aristocracy are this mad and bad.

The British aristocracy are at the heart of it and control our press, police and armed forces through Masonic networks.

'The veil is lifting now. The citizens of the earth are increasingly becoming aware that there is no need for pestilence, there is no need for war, there is no need for famine. That there is a force of evil which drives each of these without which they would not exist. The same, believe me , is true of death. It is an imposition upon us by the evil force that straddles the world and enslaves mankind with it‘s tools of control: usury, fear, engineered ignorance, racism, religions, party politics, armies, police, civil servants, the trappings and instruments of state and the control of the mind.
Your part in the lifting of the veil and the new beginning is not a small one. You are fortunate to have been given the chance to be at the forefront, spreading the word, opening the eyes of the people, bringing to them the message of the new future that is nearly upon us. Don’t be distracted into petty squabbles between one another, use your time, energy and what courage you have and what resources you have to bring the message.
Above all, show people that the evil exists, and show people that love can overcome this evil. Do not take the instruments of evil and try to fight evil with them. Love each and every man as your brother. Start now, the future is very nearly with you. In years and years to come in our brave new world think with what humility you will be able to ponder your contribution as a founding father and mother of that brave new world.
Now go do it.'

Magdelena said...

Bravo, another fantastic post! I was thinking about the previous one and contemplating on empathy as a vehicle to selflessness. How walking and feeling in another's shoes allows us to act in a more selfless manner. I was going to say a bunch of stuff about it, all of which sort of escapes me now - talk about age related ADD! ;)

But then, empathy towards oneself is also something isn't it? Sometimes, one needs to take stock and do purely self satisfying activities, to feed their own soul, so to speak. Is this selfish? Maybe, does it increase the ability to act in a more selfless manner? I would say yes - because when one's own soul is full, it is far easier to share it, to help others, to be kind - the whole gammit of good.

It's funny you mention photography - and your desire to return to that hobby (or profession?). I've recently dragged my drafting table out, bought some good pencils and pastels and have actually managed a few chicken scratches on the sketch pad. I am trying to learn to take the time for me, to relax - let my jaw drop - and float into another space. It's not easy when you feel run ragged, and yes, when you see the state of the world is it? Or the state of one's present existance.

I used to kid a friend of mine, who was so anti-establishment that his actions were completely governed by said establishment. I don't want to end up that way! I fear sometimes the anger I feel of the injustices I see daily, makes me darn close to becoming like him.

So, stop the train. I'm getting off too!

Today, I will draw a little more, garden a little more and start smiling!

Thanks Nobody, for your ability to put into words, what I am sure so many of us are thinking!


nobody said...

Hey Folks, cool comments. And thank you Scrooge McSilverfish. Sorry to have interrupted your scowling mate. Smiley winky thing.

You know what Frank? I like the movie reviews best too. The thing is, I haven't been to China for a year or so, so I haven't watched any DVDs and lately the old man has taken to staying up all hours so I haven't seen anything on the teev that wasn't sport. Anyway once I'm past this current state of flux and settled into a routine, hopefully I'll be a bit more regular with the cinema blog.

Oh, and John, you were part of my inspiration too. I need to get out of the house a bit more and take a few photes. If they're as good as yours, I'll be rapt.

Hey VC, not bad that. I liked it. And thanks Buff, I'm glad you liked it.

Von Curtis said...

Here's something else you might like , though it is very heavy going but it is interesting concerning Scientific Totalitarianism .

It takes a bit of getting through this article as it goes way back centuries to where we are now and where they want to take us.

The Faustian Face of Modern Science: Understanding the Epistemological Foundations of Scientific Totalitarianism

Ultimately, the final victim of scientific totalitarianism is the human soul.
Again, it is indeed ironic that, in their hopes of apotheosizing the human species, modern revolutionaries devalue man. This is the Faustian face of modern science: the inhuman human race.

su said...

I would not even know how to spell selflessness. (But word check does).
I am selfish and have given up trying to change the basic programming.

And as for frown lines the ones furrowing up my brow are called cracks by the kids, but then the smile lines are called canyons. Hell of a thing to have a landscape face.

About laughter. I had given up a habit some time ago and took time off. (Maybe that is why I take them up in the first place) anyway I landed up at a yoga laughter workshop which had nothing to do with yoga. I thought it was just about laughing but it supposedly trained us to facilitate laughter courses and all that certification shit that goes with this stuff.
So I was kind of miffed and isolated from the group. Pissed off with myself for landing up there etc etc.
The group was great and kept trying to draw this sullen rock into the movement.
They were laughing and I was simmering.
The leader kept telling us that the body does not know if laughter is genuine or false and the benefits are the same, so fake it till it takes.
I could not summon the energy to fake it.
But finally, the goddess of laughter smiled on me and it burst out from dungeons within and roared out in torrents of pure ecstasy.
I laugh a lot anyway, takes very little to get a laugh but in this contrived case I thought it would never happen.
Fake it till it takes is a very worthwhile motto and I think it should be in all spiritual precepts.

Ramesh Balsekar wrote recently that in his 60's when enlightenment had evaded him he decided instead to chase happiness.
And in was from happiness that he met himself.

Magdalena liked your comment and Silverfish yeah whatever.....

Anonymous said...

Rule #1:grow the beard back, pierce everything you got--get some tats, wear all black and go EMO--groupies will follow and compared to them (being emo) you'll feel like you're smilin' all the time--might even get laid :)
Say very little--it will make you seem "deep" and contemplative--maybe some mirrored sunglasses and a handlebar mustache in order to look like a 70's porn star

Rule #2: Never hang out with guys better looking than you

Rule #3: Look for girls who squint--they have poor vision and can be heavily relied upon if they have been drinking heavily--however, wait until nightfall--we all look better in the dark

Rule #4: Disregard everything written here as I have been married to a farsighted woman for 21 years yet like to live vicariously through others.....

Don't know where this all came from--perhaps my evil twin JjJj


Anonymous said...

From Belgium

Dante’s lowest level had a sign over the gate saying “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”? What is not generally known is that there is an even lower sub level called “A romantic evening out at McDonalds”. Well nearly! Anyway, that would wipe the smile off my face.

A bunch of Buddhist monks laughing themselves silly is one thing but a bunch of winos on a bench in the middle of town doing the same thing is viewed somewhat differently. And why shouldn’t they; they haven’t been chasing their tails from one doom internet site to another. When whatever is going to happen, happens it will affect everybody equally, in the meantime the winos are happy whilst the rest of are??? Well, I am not quite sure.

John said “The country here keeps going to war for no good reason, I sit in a garden and listen to insects and birds but far away people are being killed, we have huge protests about not wanting wars but our protests are ignored, we did not do enough.”

There is a reason why the country keeps going to war which is explained in the link. “Addicted to War” is in comic strip format, is way cool and even I can understand it. If you want you can skip the first four or five pages of writing and get straight into the strips. Then you can decide if the reason is a good one.

The only reason that protests are allowed, in my view, is that it gives those who take part in them a feel good factor. They get the personal satisfaction that they have done something. In fact they have done nothing effective apart than putting their heads up above the parapet. When protests are viewed to have any degree of effectiveness then the response is somewhat different; to wit, everything from Kent University to Seattle and Miami. On this subject, did anybody see the footage of Miami? That woman in the business suit who stopped an advancing line of beetle clad riot shield drumming riot cops dead in their tracks just by turning around and glaring at them sure had some intestinal fortitude. Just like the tank man she was another unknown hero of the people.

Yes, happiness comes in many forms. Some would have it that you are better off listening to the birds or drinking wine on a park bench rather than immersing yourself in this stuff.

nobody said...

Su! Well that was a bit spooky - you've trod this ground already. Not that we should be surprised of course. I doubt that there's anywhere you can go that someone hasn't already been there ahead of you.

And thanks evil twin Jj. Shades of a Bewitched plot! Otherwise I thought those tips were good. I've been looking for an affectation that expresses the 'real me' and that has a lot going for it.

Kikz, you win this week's award for least said whilst still remaining germane.

And thanks FB, I'll check it out.

kikz said...

teehee :) noby

hi su...

have you ever chk'd out the abraham/ester&jerry hicks stuff?
note: i'm pushing the message here, not particularly the messenger because i've found the message left all over the world, throughout recorded time. :) IMHO ester is just a great messenger :)

severely nutshelled: controlling/focusing will; the purpose of human desire in the 'creation' of one's experience.

or... how to utilize that 'basic programming' to its highest & best use :)

just google... there are 10min 'audio bites' dwnlddable on their site.. or you can find em on youtube also.

Anonymous said...

Always leave 'em laughing. I have many friends - most accomplished and financially secure and all that...which is cool. I, being a card-carrying underachiever (professionally) live by my wits, have a guardian angel who works overtime, am generally happy w/o mood altering drug therapy and sometimes have a net worth in the double digits (i.e. .35 LOL) - was laid off from (mercy killing) law firm 6 mos. ago - life in discord - who's isn't? BUT, I LOOK YEARS (I AM TOLD THIS OFTEN) YOUNGER THAN MY WELL-HEELED, "SUCCESSFUL" BUDDIES. 2 of my favorite quotes - Money Is Wasted On The Rich AND Youth Is Wasted On The Young. Life is short - have the most fun ya can. I do this "experiment" that works like a charm - I will smile @ a stranger and it's so odd to see them smile back. Makes me feel good too. Debra from Philly

john said...

Beards eh?

Australia has lots of good place names, they have plenty of music in them still.

slozo said...

I tried to say something long and wise . . . well, I did write something longish and maybe not so wise, and then to simply comment I was asked to sign up for a google account, and through a convoluted set of steps, lost my message AND failed to sign up . . . which I was never sure I had to do since I already have a google/gmail address.


Good on ya, mate. You're lookin' alright seems to me, and hopefully you have things - everyday things, mind you - that keep you happy.

If you don't, work towards it, mate. It's worth it, I'm telling you from the greener grass side. Nice enough house, comfy living, loving wife, small child. I have plenty of time to spend with them too, that's an important part to it all.

As an aside . . . I always took you for about mid thirties, going by the writing. So, you must still have a very youthful mind, there is lots to be said for that.

Anonymous said...

From Belgium

Well you have stepped out from your cloak of anonymity now Mr N beard or no. I have to agree with Slozo here, the experience to put together well constructed arguments with a fresh outlook; I would have said about 35 too. What a surprise to find you are well on the way to your free bus pass. If you want to travel around gratis with other people then you are going to have your name on it. Now there is something to ponder over ^_^

Penny said...

good god, I have some serious catching up to do!!!

nobody, what has gotten into you?


yah, it is hot here!

Penny said...

Funny, cause I have been feeling the same way. I know I have been clenching my teeth.
My jaw hurting in the am.
And the feeling of never being rested, has become the norm, as opposed to the abnormal.

Is it, the coming of something, something not good.

Makes me think of this time, walking with the kiddo one morning, she was just about 8 or 9.

And we could see, it was getting darker, and darker, and the wind had kicked up, we walked faster and faster hoping to get home before the now obvious approaching storm hit us, and hit us hard!

It was so weird, as we crossed the bridge over a waterway, we could see the rain coming down the waterway towards us, like an ominous grey wall, not solid, and yet it looked solid. Like a sheet, a mass of water and grey coldness.

I took her hand,to get ready.... and it hit us hard!

It was the hardest rain I had ever experienced.
I knew just then what stinging and driving rain was, cause I could feel it.
The streets were flooded in an instant.

Anyway, that sort of ominous feeling, of, oh oh this shit is coming and it isn't going to be so pleasant. Is what I think your describing and yes, what I would say it pervasive, in any ones life, who pays attention to all the shit that goes on.

But, we made it home ok, ya know?
Soaked to the skin, and a hell of a mess in the house, we left the windows open, but we were ok.

I try to remind myself, I will be ok.

nobody said...

Hey Folks,

Sorry, it took me a while to reply to all these kind comments. A simple fact of the new reality I'm in is that I'll won't be able to blather on at length in the comments like I used to. Hell, sometimes I used to write more in the comments than in the piece! All of that was typed in real time whilst sitting at the cafe, which was all well and good when I could hang out there as much as I liked. But my online time is now limited and I kind of have to jump on, do my thing, and jump off.

Also I've never mentioned it before but sourcing the photes I use for the articles is absurdly time consuming. And it doesn't help if I start photoshopping them neither. That's all in real time too.

Hey Debra from Philly. Nice to have a new face pop in. One does get so tired of all the predictable regulars. Oops! I didn't say that aloud did I? Ha ha ha ha, just joking folks. (No really I was! Oh fine, be that way then...) Anyway Deb, never mind them getting all huffy, I just wanted to say that yep, I am perpetually taken for someone younger. Last week I had some woman tell me that it was alright for me since I was young, and I had to tell her I was older than she was. Otherwise, if it was me you happened to smile at, you'd need to be persistent since my automatic assumption would be that you wanted to sell me something or had otherwise mistaken me for someone else, ha ha.

And Pen, what are you on about? I don't know about 'baked' mate. Perhaps you meant 'half-baked'? For that, guilty as charged m'lud.


Another comment Pen. I typed the above at home and now I'm cutting and pasting. That rain storm sounds tops! As long as there aren't sheets of galvanised iron flying about, I love big weather. Ha, I was just remembering the six years I lived in a warehouse - it had a tin roof and the rain would be so loud you had to shout to have a conversation. It was fantastic.

Dave Q. said...

Hi Nobody,

"Weltschmerz", eh? Who woulda thought that there was a word that describes me, more times than not.

The title "Smiling" caused a click as soon as I saw it. Glad I read the post; I needed that, on this extra-heavy-weighted day. Some are like that.

I noticed you mention martial arts throughout your writings. Great insights everywhere. I, too, am a lover of Bruce Lee's style--mental AND physical. Not to say I have achieved anything like the levels he did, although I have been at it for longer than I like to admit.

Many years ago, I used to doubt the veracity of those who claimed that there were 65 year-olds who still did "the movement". Now, I am not so far away from that age, and have become my own proof. (moving with a little less abandon than I used to, of course)

Just saying hello from another of your great pieces. Have a great day.


p.s. I shall endeavor to add the slight smile, the next time I do my highest form. Makes sense.

nobody said...

Thanks Dave,

I'm glad you reminded me of weltschmerz. What with wanting to refresh the precise meaning in my head, I clicked the link and then got sucked into following trails (as you do in wikipedia). And funnily enough ended up with a fistful of concepts with which to attack some lines of thought that have been running through my head lately. Perhaps something will come of it. Or perhaps it won't. Who knows? But thanks anyway.

ciao ciao