Saturday, November 22, 2008

Hey George

I have you pegged as a man of vice. C'mon buddy, where's that famous smirk? There it is! But forget those drugs you hoovered up. Forget the kids you fucked and had killed. Forget the war and the misery, suffering, and death you inflicted upon millions. All of that. Forget about it. Let's just go with gambling. You like a bet don't you? Sure you do. You and Dick used to put down a quiet couple of grand as to who could shoot that 'rabbit' first. Rabbits in high heels, ha! But forget the hunting too, we're talking gambling. Well here's a bet for you.

You know that scene in Platoon where the redneck stomps the head of the idiot son - "Holy shit, you see that fucking head come apart, man? Shit, I've never seen brains like that before, man!"? C'mon George, think back into those coke-addled wilderness years. Even though you couldn't get it up then (what with viagra not having been invented) you got a bit of a soft-on. Just in case it's a bit dim in your drug-fried brain, here's a pic. Remember this guy? He stomped that gook head.

And here's the set-up - We take that scene and digitally alter it so that the idiot son is you (not much of a stretch I admit). It'll be you copping the stomping. And with digital effects being what they are nowadays it'll be so real even you'll think it's you. Then we screen it in any multiplex as a short before the main feature just like in the old days. And here's the crunch - I'll bet every penny I have that the audiences cheer. They'll cheer when you're whimpering in terror and they'll laugh when your brains are spattered all over the walls. How about it George? You up?

Because that's you mate. You are the guy in the movie whose grisly death would have the audience cheering. That's you. Enjoy the rest of your worthless fucking life.


Apologies to Les Visible. This really ought to have been a comment on his marvellous George W. Bush, Grade A. USDA-Prime Sonofabitch but I whacked it up here instead.


Anonymous said...

Hey with all the video editing software you could really make that clip. Maybe get Rivero to do it as he does special effects. Don't know about getting it screened in North America but I am sure there are places in the world were they would throw it up before the movie. Maybe China?


the Silverfish said...

For many years I have pondered what would be a fitting punishment for the likes of George and co.
A Bullet? The energy non compliant Chair?, The Noose? None of these seem to be much of a punishment, seeing that dead is something that we are all going to be someday anyway, even those among us that have NOT committed heinous crimes against humanity and the planet or even kicked a cat in the recent past.

Where the hell is the punishment in being dead? Click bang dead that’s just far to easy a way out for ASSHOLES like dear OLE George & co. It’s not like ASSHOLES like dear OLE George & co. would be thinking Gee I really hate being dead, I was a bad boy and I was an ASSHOLE and I’m really fucking sorry.

Personally I think that the only fitting punishment would be to place them on public display and I really mean public display, like a circus freak show for the entire world to see, but instead of the bearded lady or the two headed goat the banner would read come and see ASSHOLES r US.

These ASSHOLES should given the best medical care possible, total security and reasonable food (one would want them to last for the full tour). Then put naked into very bulletproof very safe transparent boxes complete with surround sound, loaded up onto trailers and taken to every fucking city, town and village on this planet.

People could then see what happens to ASSHOLES, voice their opinions of said ASSHOLES (utilizing the aforementioned surround sound) throw excrement, fruit & veg or whatever at the ASSHOLES in the transparent boxes and then to really get the point across for the cost of one thin Dime, Drachma, Rupee or a Scottish farthing., for 24 hours a day the people would get the chance to push a button, a button connected to the electric grid on the floor, not lethal you understand, just a HOLY SHIT DID YUH SEE THE ASSHOLE JUMP THAT TIME, here let me try sort of grid. Of course there would have to be the drugs administered at regular intervals, you know the drugs that keep one like REALLY ALERT so that the aforementioned ASSHOLES could get the full benefit of the peoples true sentiments.

I’m not sure if it would really be a fitting punishment for the likes of these ASSHOLES but it would be a start and just think of the reality TV spin-off’s. I can just see it now, (Survivor ASSHOLE, The amazing race of ASSHOLES, AMERCAN ASSHOLE, So yuh think Yuh can dance ASSHOLE zzzzzt) The list just goes on and on.

And by the by apologies to my asshole as I don’t know where I would be without it. At least I don’t call it George.
Elvis has left the building.

nina said...

He's not so handsome as your evil mean mofo in the pic. In fact, he's aging badly and appears to have let his hair go unnattended. He looks lately as if he just fell outta bed or was pulled out of a cold shower for a statement, statements that mean zilch because he was told to say something and didn't know what it meant. Really, its an amazing thing to see him now, a fuzzy headed deer in the headlights with no loop to be out of if ever he actually was in one.

Visible said...

Yes... but then I would have been denied the pleasure of all the bells and whistles at your site and I have to say that the environment in which it is presented definitely enhances the whole effect.

nobody said...

Hey Dave, I don't need Rivero mate. That was my gig for twenty years. I started as a props/modelmaker and ended up as head of CG. Right near the end (before I wigged out and ran away) I was a commercials director. Now I'm a bum, ha ha.

'the energy non compliant chair' - ha ha ha ha. Otherwise Silv, the word you're looking for is 'pillory'. The original pillory was the simplest and most brutal thing imagineable. It was merely a stone bollard with chains attached, set in the middle of a public square.

But on the subject of punishment, this may be of some small consolation. It's not 'right' in a Buddhist sense, but it is a laugh and kids love it. (It's interactive by the way. Use the cursor to grab his head and knock him senseless.)

And sorry, Kikz. I was less than clear there. The fellow in the phote is Kevin Dillon who played 'Bunny' in Platoon. He was the guy who stove in the idiot son's head and uttered the quote. The idiot son was some poor innocent Vietnamese villager.

Hey Les, nice of you to pop in. And happily this environment hasn't been dicked with by blogger, ha ha. (Furtive grab at the nearest piece of wood!)

nobody said...

Brief note - the lexicon blog is gone. I ditched it. It hardly seemed worth it for a single entry. So I folded it into the church blog. There's still a link to it on the front page and if you want to find a word, just click it and it'll take you to the church page.

Anonymous said...

I grok your sentiments, but to mete out punishment on Curious George is only flaying the monkey while the organ grinder plays on...

...and the Monkey-elect (this is NOT an ad hominem based on skin tone, just a working metaphor, btw) is functionally no different from the current simian puppet.

This is just one man's opinion, but I strongly suspect you'd be better served channeling your wholly understandable rage into productive activities like tearing holes in the ground and planting things or similar.

Any true revolution will concern itself little with the figureheads and puppets of power politics and instead cut away at infrastructure, disabling pieces of the machines used to attract and aggregate us.

And yes, I also suspect that at some point or another those of us who know better -- and wish not to be so easily tracked -- will eventually be forced to swear off this vast and useful Alexandrian honeypot known as the Net.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that George and all of his friends are going to get a nasty surprise at some point and now they have to live in fear too.I think that if they have any sense that they should be afraid.

Penny said...

Nobody: I have the song for this post on my blog, seemed a team effort was in order.

After reading your post, and then silverfish's commentary, this ditty just popped in my head.

I hadn't heard it for quite some time, and it took a little longer then usual for me to dig it up, but, I do hope you will enjoy the contribution.

It's all good

nobody said...

Mir, you are on the money as usual. I wrote this in spite of the fact that the idiot son is nothing more than a glove puppet. But you know me mate. Up until now I've had little to say about the glove puppet. Most everything here is reserved for the people who have their hands up the puppet's oh-so-willing clacker. You'll forgive me won't you, for having taken a five minute break to heap shit on that smirking buffoon? And it's not like he doesn't deserve it...

As for your last (and beautifully expressed) sentiment re the net, may I be honest with everyone here? This thing, such as it is, will end. The only certainty is change.

When the Afghans erased the Buddhas at Bamiyan, all my friends wanted to see how outraged I was (what with me being resident Buddhist, ha ha). I disappointed them all. My attitude was that it was bound to happen sooner or later. Whether it happens now, or a millennia from now, it's all a blink of an eye. And besides, Buddha would have thought nothing of it.

And then there's the net. If you want a good analogy of how I view it, go see a film called Laputa, Castle in the Sky by Miyazaki. In it, the fabled dream is destroyed. There was nothing for our hero and heroine to do but leave knowing that they were privileged to have witnessed a sparkling moment in time.

Which for mine, touches on John's point. May I rephrase it? Those who insist that things never change must and will be defeated. So you're right John. But the problem is that time is a slippery thing. A millennia is a blink of an eye. A second is an eternity. It would be foolish to imagine that the change we hope for will happen to a schedule, ie. in our lifetime. It may, or it may not.

For a fellow such as yours truly who, every single day, wonders if there's any point to me doing this blogging caper, it's entirely possible that at some point I may decide that the answer is 'no'. And Les may do the same. And on and on. And this thing will be no more and we'll all be on our own. But we always were.

'Every man is an island'. This is true. As is 'No man is an island'. Here, we can embody both. But things will shift and change and our understanding of these two propositions will too.

The silver lining of this cloud is that we will have participated and we'll be the better for it. We will have thoughts, understandings, ways of thinking that we would never have had otherwise. Even if all we did was to learn to ask questions it will all have been worthwhile. Can you dig it?

This is to be cherished. If we wish to view it as a thing to derive joy from, we will not be wrong.

This is trite, but here's the soundtrack for Laputa that for mine perfectly captures that confused and indefinable sense of nostalgia/loss/joy/and hope. Enjoy.

Speaking of which (and back to the real world), thanks Pen. I'll check it out.

kikz said...

hmmmmm. comment didn't post...

i'm foggy on my misunderstanding noby... but i do know the character bunny, frm the movie. i've often wondered, how peepz who have to... deal w/such a warped personality for extended periods of time, handle it, w/o exterminating such a vile influence?

in fact, i've personally encountered peepz who've shown shades of bunny. which was in my best interests to ever allow them to show. shadez of. didn't hang round to witness anymore. devil recognized, so ta speak.

Penny said...

sometimes, it just feel better to get pent up frustrations off of ones chest.

even though the idiot king, has been replaced by the latest puppet, one can still derive some satisfaction from sadistic thought ;)

I guess?

the Silverfish said...

No I'm not looking for a pillory, just a glass cage on a circus wagon, and after the world tour the bastards should be allowed to starve to death, then dumped on a landfill with a sign saying"This is what Happens to ASSHOLES get it".

nobody said...

Silv, you remind me of that python quote 'He was a cruel man, but fair', ha ha.

And yeah Pen. Look, I should be embodying the dharma of Buddha. But I don't because I'm a crap Buddhist. Subsequently I would view George Bush coming an ugly cropper with a perverse glee. It's poor of me.

Hey Kikz, well I'd run screaming. Happily here in Oz, characters like Bunny are less likely than they are in America. It's my opinion that Australians aren't quite as given to - I don't know - cruelty than Americans are. I could be wrong of course, but that's what I think.

the Silverfish said...

Oh yes while on the topic of old Python skits, well we weren't really but lets. Remember that old cheese shop? Obamandingo reminds me of that one, as he's not selling cheese at all just the smell of it and it all smells of an old Stilton left in the sun.

notamobster said...

I have an innate ability to spot the sociopaths, due to life experience... I have to say that in all my travels, I have not seen many in any land apart from my own. How incredibly sad.

That song is beautiful, noby.

And, Penny - perfect!

nobody said...

The Cheese Shop sketch, the last line of which was - 'What a senseless waste of human life'.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nobody said...

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