Saturday, July 19, 2008

World Youth Thingy

Right this minute, Sydney, Australia's biggest city, is awash in Roman Catholics. There's some World Youth Thingy on featuring the Pope. Happily I'm a thousand kilometres away. Me, I already know precisely what everyone is in for, having been through this when I lived in Italy. Back then they had the Jubileo, whatever that was. There I was wandering around Padova (a really marvellous town with some spectacular Giotto frescoes) and you couldn't turn a corner without being surrounded by idiot young people singing and clapping. Between them and football hooligans, I'll take the hooligans. At least the hooligans don't stray far from places selling beer.

Anyway... a funny thing happened on the way to Australia's World Youth Thingy. A really tiny crowd of demonstrators seemed to hog all the air time. These being the curiously titled NoToPope Coalition. They were cross that the Pope won't support condoms. So cross, that they've made a sharp professional website, printed sharp professional t-shirts and stocked up on tons of branded (but hopefully not sharp) condoms. All washed down with a really cracking media campaign. These people are waaaay better funded, better organised and far more visible than Sydney's anti-war coalition ever was. All this for an event that lasts a week! Absurdly enough, these dozen or so people somehow seemed to get the same amount of screen time as the hundreds of thousands who marched against the Iraq war. What a whacky world.

I don't want to talk about the Pope and the church here. The Jewish media already heaps more than enough shit on the Catholic church. If you don't care for that thought, ask yourself what kind of coverage, or lack of it, would have been given to a NoToRabbis Coalition objecting to the Jewish Church's support for Palestinian ethnic cleansing. Exactly. In the media, screaming blue murder about the Catholic church is precisely as permissible as doing the same about the Jewish faith isn't, if you can dig it. But never mind that, what I'm interested in is the kerfuffle involving this little come-from-nowhere group who managed to hog all the limelight. And... the weird shit that followed.

Absurdly this tiny group was such a threat to social order that the police were astoundingly given the ability to arrest anyone who might behave in an 'annoying' fashion. I am not making this up. The people of New South Wales woke up that morning to learn that they suddenly had 'anti-annoyance' legislation.

Sure enough, the media went nuts with NoToPope starring as freedom-fighting, underdog heroes. Everyone else ducked for cover. It seemed that no one had asked for this legislation, no one wanted it, no one made it happen. The Youth Thingy people said it wasn't them. Nor was it the police. Nor even the government! Um, okay, that's weird. Perhaps this law wrote itself.

Next thing we know, the NoToPope Coaltion is in the Federal Court fighting for their right to hand condoms to people who don't want them. Did I miss something here? Has the legal system suddenly changed overnight and become cheap to participate in? Or does the No To Pope Coalition have scads of money? Really? From where? If all sorts of legal people donated their time for free, why did they do that?

Miraculously common sense ruled the day. Happily the legislation we didn't need for a public threat that didn't exist from an 'advocacy' group that seems to have no public support was defeated. Three cheers for whatever that was all about! Camera crews awaited the thronging mass of five or so celebrating NoToPopers. All five of them were rapt! They promptly starting walking up to random Catholics and giving them condoms.

Unsurprisingly these random individual Catholics who'd had nothing to do with any of it, behaved ungraciously. Not only did they not care for the NoToPoper's clever double-entendre t-shirts, they also didn't appreciate being given things to put on men's penises. What's wrong with these stupid Catholics? Who on earth would object to people asserting that they have sex with strangers and need something for their penises? The NoToPopers were merely helpfully assisting those too embarrassed to walk into an anonymous chemists by handing them condoms in public in front of all their friends and relatives. Why would anyone object to that?

Archness aside, what was this all about? I mean really? Dissuading Catholics from being Catholics? Seriously? Funnily enough, I have actually done this but I suspect I wouldn't have been so successful had I chosen to get in people's faces and make suggestions as to what they should do with their penises.

Perhaps it was to broadly promote condom use? But broadly is the wrong word. The only people the NoToPopers will appeal to are inner-city groovers who already use them. And teenagers. Teenagers have been perfectly trained by the TV to know that any kind of rebellion against squares is good.

Groovers and Teenagers aside, I'm prepared to declare, with perfect certainty, that the broad majority of Australian punters, Catholic or no, would view the NoToPopers as ratbags, dickheads and bullshit artists. God knows how many people wondered if anti-annoyance laws weren't a good thing. If it spares us these fuckwits maybe there's something to be said for it?

Otherwise, I broadly suspect that all of this was nothing more than yet another campaign against the Catholic church. The church is right up there with Muslims, the Russians, the Chinese, and Robert Mugabe as those we must hate. Forget what any given campaign is about exactly. There's no point trying to make sense of 'what' it's all for. The 'what' of any particular campaign is irrelevant. It's merely a cover for the campaign itself. The 'what' is an impossible riddle that will make less sense the more you look into it. All you need to do is ask who am I meant to hate here?

Frankly the bloc media could save us all a lot of time if they merely had a nightly hate list following the weather report. Talking head - 'And now we go to Murray with tonight's Jewish media's hate list. Murray?' Switch to camera 2. 'Thanks Tina, not much change from last night. With no attacks scheduled in the Middle East this week, Muslims have slid down to third place. But with the Catholics looking to hitch a free ride in the Jewish media with their World Youth Thingy, we've decided to take them down a notch by putting them in as tonight's Number One target of ridicule! So! All you impressionable people out there, teenagers, and kids - the Jewish media has spoken. Behave predictably! Good night, and back to you Tina.' Switch to camera 1. 'Thanks Murray, and following tonights news, on A Current Affair we'll have a grab bag of great anti-Catholic one-liners you can all repeat at school and make yourselves look clever. Good night!'


Anonymous said...

Possibly. But the WYD people left themselves wide open.
Hundreds of thousands walking to Randwick. A billion watching worldwide. Unreal.
Wish this could happen in a protest for Palestine or ww peace, hey!

Anonymous said...

I had this one in the wings...
Sainthood for the pylon
or even maybe Saint Coat-hanger - yes that's it! It's a miracle.
Pilgrims from throughout the world will flock to see the Sydney miracle (we certainly need the tourists). Christ’s tears will probably stream down the side of the pylon every time it rains. Here you go nobody a marketing coup for you.
Is this (WYD) the taxpayer’s money at work? Blessed are the meek. We should ask the Muslim community it they would like a World Youth Day so Muslim pilgrims can come from around the world to Australia to celebrate. Imagine.

Anonymous said...

Are they condom trees in the background?

nobody said...

No, I think they're loofahs mate. I read somewhere that the Pope is a crazy fool for baths. Apparently he has over a dozen baths a day. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. Anyway I expect the worshippers decided to theme the background in honour of his endless bathing ; )

Speaking of Muslims, do you watch Salam Cafe on SBS? Worth watching! Uncle Sam cracks me up. My kind of sideways humour. Dishy chicks too. Otherwise I got that show pegged as a force for good. Now if only SBS could ditch all those endless tiresome Nazi documentaries. Boring.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nobody, I've got a theory that the Irish problem was fixed up really quickly years ago because powerful Protestants and Catholics said we have to unite to defeat the rise of Islam and save Jerusalem. So they teemed up with the Christian and Jewish Zionists - what do you think of that theory - but they are losing the battle because Lebanon is unified against Israel and Arab power is on the rise.
I think a lot of these religions are very well organized cults.
I get my 'religion' from birds and nature - we have a lot of cockatoos having their meals on our newly planted wheat crop - we don't shoot them - hopefully they won't do too much damage.

Anonymous said...

Gave my TV away many years ago.
And I think this may be significant: I was born in Randwick.
Are all of these people traveling to Randwick because it's the place of my birth? It wasn't a virgin birth but close. Maybe they are.
...Hey Mum.

nobody said...

Hey Von,

Well you got me mate. It's certainly out of the left field. Me, I never heard that one before. Not that this is particularly interesting, but my family is as Irish as a plate of potatoes with a potato sauce, a side serving of potatoes, and all garnished with some more potatoes. Which is to say pretty Irish. I even kissed the blarney stone, believe it or not.

As for this idea, I no longer dismiss anything utterly. But I'd take a bit of convincing on this one. As a concession, the majority of the troubles were whipped up by the British. And given the power of the 'city of London' and who that is exactly, any number of motives (entirely different to those put forward publicly) could exist.

And cockatoos. Such beautiful songbirds...

Otherwise Tony, your Mum? Worship the gourd! No, the sandal! No, Tony's Mum!

the Silverfish said...

This is funny, sad but funny none the less.
Some years ago the last Poop paid a visit to this humble colony known by the natives as the Great White North and brought piece, happiness and in a few cases prosperity.

I say prosperity because of a friend of mine who saw the fruit on the tree and picked it, I will explain.
Some months before the poop arrived my friend was in a bit of a quandary as what to do with his life what with the iron foundry that he had worked in for some 30 years having shut down and him not having two nickels to rub together. What to do? What to do?

Now have you ever had one of those moments where a light just went on? Well my friend had just such a moment and this is what he did.

First he acquired a small Plastic replica of the Poops face (cheesy I know but it gets worse) then he rented a small building, a shed really, bought a really old manual molding machine that was a least 50 years old from the same foundry that had gone belly up. (I think he paid around $100 dollars for it). Next thing he does is start to collect scrap Aluminum, build a small furnace to melt it in, also he contacted a local furniture company and asked if he could collect their scrap pieces of oak boards at the end of each week.(to this they said yes as they just throw it into the dumpster anyway). Now he puts his wife to work cutting up these scrap pieces into 6”x 6” plagues on an old table saw that he managed to scrounge. A bit of stain and a shot of lacquer and la dee da.

Now while his wife is busy with the wood my friend is busy using the Plastic Poops face as a pattern for making sand molds of the Poop. Into these sand moulds he pours the molten scrap aluminum. Now over the course of 4 months we are talking a lot of Poops faces here,( I mean like Thousands of little “3x3” faces all screwed to these cheesy pieces of wood).

The Poop was to entertain the trembling and huddled masses at a place called Birds Hill Park which is some 40 miles outside city limits,( see how smart we Canucks is? We don’t let the bugger into the city so no worries). My friend now hauls these little Aluminum Poops faces to the park by the truck load and starts selling them to the Pilgrims, Like for $50.00 a shot.

Here’s the kicker, he ran out of shit to sell on the fourth day,( now are Yuh ready fer this?)
The bastard cleared over $300,000.00, when I asked him how the hell he could sleep at night bilking the rubes and all. He replied that if “Their God had not wanted them Fleeced, Their God would not have made them Sheep” and if he had started sooner he could have made a million. On this point I could not argue.

So for all you in Oz what the hell Yuh waiting for? The Sheep are gathering and if any nation on planet earth should know how to Shear Sheep it should be You.

Sorry if this comes a little late, but I was out sailing so cut me some slack here OK.

nobody said...

I declare your buddy a genius mate. Just viewing it from a recycling point of view, it's brilliant. Scrap aluminium, timber offcuts, and all in a plant that someone decided wasn't worth keeping open.

Also in the world of collectibles, those pope heads he made could well become the stuff of legends. I hope he put a little stamp on the bottom. Two hundred years from now on Vintage Roadshow, 'Ah yes, what a marvellous little commemorative. I do love these unauthorised pieces, they're so much more charming than the official high-volume factory rubbish. And so much more valuable too...'

Anonymous said...

Most people here and elsewhere can't handle the truth, they rather be 'happy' oblivious to literal rape and pillage perpetrated with IMPUNITY by a handful of EVIL greedy to the extreme Neocons that ride the backs of 95% of U.S. That's why they feed us religion to numb us to accept the UNACCEPTABLE truth, that we are systematically raped in every conceivable way every minute of everyday. We should be outraged to the point of flooding the streets in BLOODY protest.(yes like the founding fathers!)

Since the 60's we have been 'convinced' by the church and the media propaganda that showing Righteous Outrage is unbecoming a civilized person or society! Would you watch a person getting killed/raped/mugged and just take it casually? We have become lame as excuses for the term citizen. Citizen of what? Pathetic Lemmings packed into shiny metal boxes in rush our. Aiding and abetting the 'status quo' that is fast tracking our demise. What does unsustainable Model mean to you? I ask

Oil is a finite resource, we have the technology to do waaaaaay better with every resource we value, yet we trudge on as if the is nothing wrong! WTF Why do people have kids for? Surely they care little what they are leaving behind for their descendants. You think? Religion says God is taking care of things, I don's see the planet expanding for an ever expanding population that devours every resource as fast as possible. Oh wait Rev.Hagee says the rapture is around the corner! Live and be Merry

We don't know the half of it. The so called Liberal Media lol lol reports only U.S. Casualties. They don't break it down because that would bring the FACTS painfully clear i.e Our Patriot Soldiers, maimed (limbs, sexual organs, disfigured, paralyzed etc.)Forget the suicides and mentally challenged for the rest of their lives.
Next> The Enemy or are they?

I forgot a very important 'number' as the son of combat veteran, infantry hand to hand trench warfare that jumped 11 stories to his death 20 years after his experience (Korea)... The cost of War (this war too) will never ever be fully accounted for (see my You Tube profile statement) The lasting legacy keeps going and going and going...

Oh and last but ABSOLUTELY not least. How about the enemy tally? We are supposedly a Christian nation right? WWRJD Are we killing rats over there? How about a tally of the Actual Enemy Combatants ALONG with the innocent and not-so innocent collateral damage that we inflict directly or indirectly by way of the civil war we are facilitating there. And they call our U.S. media Liberal Media! lol lol We are a sad lot I swear:(