Sunday, January 6, 2008

The wickedness of Harbhajan Singh

The Australian cricket team and by extension the Australian people remain true to form. We are all currently outraged by the wicked Indian spin bowler Harbhajan Singh. He's now cited and must front the ICC board on a charge of racism. It seems he called the Australian batsman Andrew Symonds some variation of racist epithet. That he attempted to apologise is proof of his guilt. That the apology seems to have been rejected is perfectly understandable.

When will these foreigners learn? I suggest that the Australian Cricket Board, in a spirit of helpfulness, start a campaign to educate them on how to sledge correctly. I'll start it off. Anatomical insults are good. Thus you may call people pricks, arseholes, and cunts. Sexual insults also get a big tick. Jokes about fucking someone's wife are perfectly good - unless directed at someone like Australian bowler Glenn McGrath whose wife happened to have breast cancer. The fact that McGrath started it by declaring that he'd fucked the other fellow's wife is irrelevant. The other fellow's wife didn't have breast cancer. Otherwise if you just stick to the broad understanding that your opponents are shit who deserved to be ridiculed, insulted, and otherwise spattered with the verbal equivalent of fecal matter, you can't go wrong. Except for racism! Any term that might be interpreted as racist will be leapt upon and held up like a head on a pike so that all might know what wicked scoundrels racist foreigners are.

Note to ICC - How about instituting a policy of putting actual heads on actual pikes? We could then display them on the roof of the member's stand at the SCG so that foreigners might know that they may not sully the good name of Australian cricket. Just a thought.

But really, foreigners will be best served by simply reminding themselves that they're not our equals. They can't even speak English properly! And if they can't manage that simple task they should just shut up and be educated by us. And Harbhajan Singh? We'll teach him. We have standards here. And never mind whatever crap 'single' standards they have in India. We're one-up on them - we have double standards.


annemarie said...

ah yes, double standards. Non merci. One will do.

What my daddy told me:

"You are not better than anyone. And no one is any better than you."

Love him for that, I do.

Words to live by. Words that have always moved me to want to always (strive to) be a better person.

Words from his heart, through mine, to every ones.....

annemarie :)

annemarie said...

I forgot to mention how very funny you are. That's a real talent. Clever (but in the best/good sense). I'm jealous. Bitch!


annemarie :)

Anonymous said...

Very good nobody
As you well know all sports persons in Aus. especially fb, slc and cricket are a pack of creeps.

nobody said...

Not all of them. Like I said I only really watch rugby and cricket. I have no problems with the Wallabies and Sterling Mortlock is an ornament to the game and a credit to the country.

Cricket right now is in a meltdown and it's all due the poisonous atmosphere created by sledging. I'll condemn it every time. But I'm also prepared to give a bouqet to Adam Gilchrist. Gilchrist walks, umpire's finger or no. Admirable stuff. If the whole Australian team did that (and quit sledging of course) we'd not only not be hated but admired.

And then we could just concentrate on playing good cricket.