A Prayer for Rupert Murdoch

"It's like Pauline Hanson never left," said Bob Brown, leader of the Australian Greens. And he's right of course, but not quite right enough. For those who don't know, Pauline Hanson was the dim-witted fish and chip shop owner (no, really!) who overnight became the voice of all those Australian voters possessed of the vague idea that everything was the fault of abos, wogs, and gooks. Finally racists could come in from the cold! In less time than it took for the soy mochaccino drinking crowd to snork the froth out their nose, she and her One Nation party had magically become the third force in Australian politics.


Truth is, she had no idea what she was doing. Her party was full of losers and crackpots, run by grasping spivs and chancers, and its tiny number of MP's became one, became none, and in no time at all the whole thing descended into a series of undignified, money-grubbing spats and court cases. Yeah, seeya arseholes, have a nice life.

In a big picture discussion of the 'Hanson Phenomenon' there's no point dwelling on 'Hanson' half of the equation - she was an idiot who confused media interest with personal worthiness - better to pay attention to the 'Phenomenon' half of things. This had nothing to do with Hanson per se. I expect if asked, she could tell you what 'phenomenon' meant (well, she'd get close anyway) but I doubt she could spell it. But Rupert Murdoch's hacks certainly could. They can spell, whistle up a racist riot, and chew gum all at the same time. They ain't paid all that money for nothing. And Hanson? She was merely the pea in Rupert Murdoch's racist dog whistle.


Of course, that shit Little Johnny Howard did his part too. Riffing off Hanson, who'd now given voice to 'the concerns of many Australians' (according to the media), he could take a giant leap to the right. Domestically, that is. Abroad we were already the idiot son's deputy sheriff in the Pacific keen to bomb whomever as long as they were Muslim. And amongst such a campaign, God forbid Afghan and Iraqi boat people fleeing the hells which we'd made for them should arrive in Australia and behave like quiet, well-mannered model citizens.

They were terrorists who deserved nothing less than to have their wedding parties blown into strawberry jam - how dare they come here and be Muslim and turn our country into a cratered shit-hole like theirs was? That's why it was only too right that Howard should lock them all up on a blazing Pacific island hell hole to rot under the pitiless gaze of the Wackenhut corporation of America. Muslims must be the enemy and racism must be fostered.

Does it really come as any surprise that new Labor PM Julia Gillard has perfectly replicated that shit Howard's 'Nauru Solution' by substituting East Timor for Nauru? "No No, this is different because it's in East Timor." Brilliant - we all roll our eyes. And so when Bob Brown says, 'It's like Pauline Hanson never left,' really he'd be closer to the mark if he said, "It's like Rupert Murdoch never quit blowing his racist dog whistle." He's a lovely chap, Bob Brown, but what with his captaining of the death cult registered HMAS Global Warming you can only expect so much sense out of him. But otherwise he's on the money. Libs, Labor, who can tell the difference? Not me.


There is only one fact that counts in the boat people debate, and that is - they comprise less than three percent of immigrants coming to this country. They are a drop in the bucket. Our immigration centres are only 'swamped' because no one is interested in emptying them. If we just got on and processed these refugees like we did with every over wave of them (Greeks, Italians, Vietnamese, Mainland Chinese), then where would the immigration debate shitfight be? Nowhere. To paraphrase Paul Keating, It's the shitfight we had to have. And sotto voce, ...because Rupert Murdoch said so.

As for the old coming-over-here-and-taking-our-jobs chestnut, I am the wrong fellow for that discussion. I was in the advertising biz in Sydney and drowning in a sea made up the other 97% of immigrants who aren't boat people, which is to say Poms. If there was a decent paying white collar job in Sydney, one's competitors were bound to be English.


Lovely people, the English, until they come here, ha ha. Then they would inevitably complain about the beer, invent absurd traditions about Christmas on Bondi Beach, and otherwise torture the Australian Queen's English with expressions like, You're trippin'! and I was nana-ed, and That's when it all went pear-shaped. God it was awful. Never mind taking-our-jobs, the flipside of that coin is make-no-effort-to-assimilate-into-Australian-society - I rest my case. Not forgetting Sydney's insane rental market. Go sit in a real estate agent in Sydney's Eastern suburbs (ie. near the ocean) and see if Poms don't comprise 50% of the people making enquiries. No wonder the rents are insane.

As for Afghans - good luck finding any. It seems they've all skived off to regional Australia to work in the abattoirs and consider themselves lucky to do so. Those bastards - taking the jobs that no one else wanted to do! And living in the bush! That's bloody un-Australian!

Ha! So what am I? An inverted version of Pauline Hanson? Racist against white people! Truth is I don't give a shit where immigrants come from. As far as I'm concerned the only difference between the current Muslim boat people and all those other immigrants whose kids play with ours (without anyone thinking much of it), is Murdoch's racist rabble-rousing. The immigration 'debate' we've been subject to for the last ten years is no such thing. It's merely a regional variation of the death cult's Sanctity of Banking Campaign™ otherwise known as the War on Muslims Terror.


A true immigration debate, ie. one that doesn't discriminate, is one that I'd be up for. The discussion would pivot on water. Droughts in Oz are really something else. Whilst this has always been the case it would also be true to say, what with the ever climbing population making ever greater demands, that it only ever gets worse. A few years ago the dams of all the major cities were scraping on empty. Any number of bone dry regional towns were trucking in water just to survive.

Add to that the fact that Australia's number one river system, the Murray/Darling, never reaches the ocean. The 'wetlands' at its mouth are arid wastelands. Sure enough, the water is taken by multi-national agricorps to grow the most absurd water-hungry crops imaginable - rice and cotton. Lunacy. The cherry on top of this insanity sundae was KRudd PM's declaration that Australia needed to double its population from 20M to 40M. Huh? Was he mad? Or did he know something we didn't know? That global warming is a con perhaps? And that under the coming global cooling Australia will become lush?

Who the hell knows? With that fucker Murdoch splitting the debate into two nonsensical shitfights: the first an anti-Muslim war for the banks; and the second, fodder for the coming You-Breathe-You-Pay global warming tax regime (with no third conversation possible) there's only one thing to look forward to - the death of Rupert Murdoch. Given that, and apropos the last couple of pieces here, why don't I offer up a prayer?

Dear God,

May I petition you on behalf of your humble servant Rupert Murdoch? What with his tireless work in having us all hate each other (so that we might more enthusiastically fight the death cult's wars of pointless conquest and slaughter), surely he must be very tired by now? He certainly looks haggard, don't you think? I expect his bones are creaky, the blood in his veins as black as tar, and his mind like some nasty, grinding abacus of death.

Just look at him: honestly, Methuselah ain't in it. Not forgetting that he's expended so much of his clapped out jism impregnating his Chinese brood mare (in order to introduce the Sabbatean agenda into China) that he's become a rattling withered husk. It's breaking all our hearts.

And so Lord, I beseech thee, will you not take pity on the man? Why let him continue to suffer in this fashion? Wouldn't it be best for all if you just eased him into the great beyond? We humbly ask that you wheel out the heavenly screens and have the angelic steward do the necessary thing and blow his brains out with a divine double barrelled shotgun. Both barrels - just to be sure.

'Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for Rupert Murdoch'. Was that a prayer before Hemingway pinched it? It sounds about right so I'm sure you won't mind if I use it. How about, 'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!' That can either be you talking to him and then he carks it. Or him talking to you, in which case you should just kill him on principal. And divine mercy etc. etc. Otherwise may God be with you and blessed be His name, yours truly, amen and best regards, nobody.