Tricksters V Gods - Satanism V The Rest

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The Pedophocracy as Sacrament

Spare a thought for Dave McGowan. It seems he's being done over by the IRS. It was bound to happen of course - anyone as good at calling bullshit as McGowan is was always going to cop it. Still, it could be worse, he could have been hacked to death at a ranch outside of Matamoros. I touch wood/stone/steel, and God forbid and all that, but as Dave himself has made only too clear none of that saved all those others. And those thousands, as they died screaming, did they call out to their Gods? And did their killers call out to theirs?


In McGowan's discussion of serial killers / mind-control
/ the pedophocracy it seems that satanism is never far away. Struggling to think now, but is there a single case in amongst all of that monkey business that doesn't involve satanism? We call it the pedophocracy, and not without reason, but it's also a fact that any number of those involved in it were perfectly happy having sex with adults. Just ask Brice Taylor. Hmm... could we have been sidetracked by the sex? What if we've confused a sacrament for the church? Imagine if we were all het up about a cult of, I don't know... 'confessionalists', a great number of whom seem to have strong links to the Catholic Church. We swap stories about various wicked episodes of confession: rent-boy confession, confession-for-hire, confessiongate etc. etc. but the church? We don't take that too seriously. There are stories of course, but it's all bullshit...

Can you dig it? So let's turn it around again. If one was to argue that the paedophilia of the pedophocracy was merely a sacrament within a satanist totality, provided you cracked enough jokes and winked at the adjudicator you could win that debate no problems. And that might be all very well in the debating club (from hell!) but in the real world no one wants to know. It's bad enough that we're ruled by sexual preverts - but devil worshippers? Honest to God satanists? Bloody hell, there's no end to that. Whether we go so far as to clap our hands over our ears and yell LA-LA-LA-LA-LA or not, either way it's just too bloody unlikely.

Besides which we need merely read the newspapers. Satanism is just teenagers having a lark. Except that it's not just teenagers, and they're not having a lark neither. It's true that any number of them thought they were having a lark, right up until they got a knife in their neck and then had their brains smashed out with a piece of concrete - "Gosh, I didn't expect a satanist execution." - and whilst it might have come as a surprise to the dead guy it was just business as usual for his friend who introduced him to it. Apart from the bit about ending up dead, it's what his parents did for him, and theirs for them, and on and on back into history.


Fine, fine, satanism, whatever. But just because people are actually getting sacrificed with the full gory art-direction, that doesn't mean that it's real. Okay so maybe it is real, like Catholicism is real, but there isn't actually anything to it and when they sacrifice people and eat their hearts and lips and fingers etc nothing actually happens. It's just them being deluded or something. When they summon the devil he doesn't actually appear... does he?

The Exorcist and a 300mm lens

The Catholic Encyclopaedia on exorcism: "Superstition ought not to be confounded with religion, however much their history may be interwoven, nor magic, however white it may be, with a legitimate religious rite." But they would say that wouldn't they? They'd have to, otherwise... where's their monopoly?


I know it's only a movie but even within that understanding The Exorcist has some very revealing moments. Keep in mind that apart from the two stars Jason Miller as Karras and Max von Sydow as Merrin, all the priests in it were real priests with each scoring a dual credit as technical consultant. As such The Exorcist gets the Roman Catholic tick of approval. Besides which, between Ratzinger performing an exorcism right there in the Vatican, and that priest in high school who got all flustered and weird when he caught me reading The Exorcist under my desk in the middle of the class about exorcism (a complete fluke, I swear), within the church you won't find a single person prepared to declare that demonic possession is bullshit.

So, it's not bullshit - but - within Catholicism the rite of Exorcism is a truly lonely orphan. Whilst the New Testament tells of Jesus performing an exorcism, really the Church would love to see the back of the whole caper. As is, the Office of the Exorcist always stood outside the sacrament of Holy Orders, the act was never considered a sacrament, and Vatican II saw the church do its damnedest to disappear the whole thing completely. Let's imagine exorcism as some unkillable strain of underground travelling bamboo that constantly bursts out and ruins the otherwise beautiful symmetry of the church's perfect formal garden. If only it didn't exist! And if only they could ignore it! But sadly, it does, and they can't.


Back to the movie now, my favourite scene comes towards the end just after the first round of the exorcism proper. It consists merely of Father Karras and Father Merrin both somewhat shell-shocked, sitting on the stairs outside the room. Apart from the terrific performances and the immaculate composition and lighting, it contains a gem of a line: says Karras, "Why this girl? It doesn't make any sense." To which I would reply, "EXACTLY!" But I can do that because, faced with a choice between two mutually exclusive things, a demon-possessed girl and a religion that says she shouldn't exist, I have no preference. Unlike Karras, I'm happy to plump for whichever one makes the most sense.

Merrin of course, as the man not given to doubt, offers up some waffle perfectly designed to console a predisposed fellow as long as he doesn't think about it. And unsurprisingly perhaps, William Friedkin, in what must easily be the most tedious director's commentary ever offered on DVD, does the same. It's some guff about faith, and being tested, and whatever: blah, blah, blah. It's the kind of rubbish people are forced to come up with to avoid the inevitable conclusion that perhaps they're bullshit.


Or to put it another way, in amongst everything the church has to offer there's nothing that isn't supposition. Every single thing they got, all of it, is just somebody's say-so. God, Jesus, the Trinity, heaven, hell, the devil, angels, all of it - nothing more than the word of man. The gig is: we take their word for it and then find out if it's true or not when we die. Fingers crossed. Actually, let's rewind. When I said 'everything' before, I should have said, everything except for demonic possession. In amongst it all, the only thing that's truly tangible and can reach out and grab you by the throat, the only aspect of supernature that comes in 3D cinemascope is demonic possession. You can see why they'd hate it can't you? Its unarguable realness makes them look like bullshit artists.

The Exorcist and an 24mm lens

Never mind Catholicism, let's step back and widen our view. Let's misuse that line from Dire Straits, when two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong, albeit with 'God' (take your pick) standing in for Jesus. Following that logic, in this world of infinite disparate religions, each with their own version of the-world-is-thus, at least one of them has to be bullshit. That's just me being generous you understand. Most people simply by being a member of a religion would be forced to agree with the statement - every religion is false except for mine. Not that they'd care for their religion reduced to a probability, but with 'every religion' equating to a truly staggering number, and 'mine' equalling 'one', the likelihood of any randomly chosen religion being true makes picking the correct lotto numbers look like a doddle. Ayah, it's Pascal's wager arse-about. Never mind!


As for those fuzzy types keen to avoid specifics and preferring to find some vague spiritual commonality between all religions, I'll put it to you that the only hard-and-fast, cannot-be-denied thing that all religions have in common (apart from gods who are always elsewhere), is demons, possession, and exorcism. No expert me, but it seems this nasty little hairball is the universal gig - Christians, Moslems, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, Animists, whomever - exorcism seems to take place amongst every people, on every continent, and for as long as records exist. Says I, it's the only unarguable thing every religion has in common.

Speaking of which, let's wind the clock back. To be honest, religion = priests = those with a wee bit more knowledge than the unwashed masses who feed them, provide them with somewhere nice to live, and hell... suck their dick, why not? It's good to be a priest. And way back when, what with science not having been invented, there were any number of things a priest could know about, or claim to know about, that would place him in an exalted position: why the sun comes up; why the wind blows; and why that white stuff that comes out of my willy has to be swallowed by a virgin. But never mind the gags (or the gagging, ahem), without a shadow of a doubt, in amongst this plethora of nonsense would have been the cold hard certainty of demons and possession.

I bring this up because it's tempting to argue that what with demons being real, and what with priests being the only ones capable of dealing with them, that this must speak to the priest's credibility: demons are real; priests really deal with them; thus the priest's knowledge must be real also. Sorry folks but I'm going to call bullshit on that one too. Exorcisms often as not take months. Imagine a rain-maker who did his jiggery-pokery over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and then eventually, months later, it rained. Um, okay, how impressed should we be? Press a for very, b for somewhat, and c for get fucked!


Ha! Welcome to Catholic exorcism! But don't take my word for it - I'm just taking William Friedkin at his. In his excruciating DVD commentary he says that there is in fact nothing special about the phrase that Karras and Merrin repeatedly shout at the demon, The power of Christ compels you. Apparently exorcists are instructed to repeat any phrase that seems to have an effect. I'll admit that it's unlikely, but if someone popped into the room saying, 'Hey, pull my finger!' and the demon recoiled then that would be the ideal thing to yell at it. Or to put it another way, it's whatever works and Rites of the Exorcism be damned. Best I can make out, no religion has any idea what they're doing. It's all hit or miss, and the main thing is to keep a stiff upper lip, pay no attention to the demon's lies, and be resolute in telling it to get out. That's all there is to it. And yeah, it could take months. The only reason the priests score the gig is because they long ago declared that all things supernatural belonged to them, and if they shy away from it then - shrugs shoulders - "What good are they?"

Says I, the orphan nature of exorcism in every religion is due to the fact that in any battle between a trickster / demon who's real, and a church built with nothing but the word of man, only one of them has their fingers crossed.

The Nihilist's Dilemma

So what am I saying? You'd half wonder if I wasn't declaring myself a Satanist. If demons are the only things that are real, and all the churches are bullshit, then I must be a satanist. No?


Hardly. I'm just a guy who read too much over at Rigorous Intuition to walk away thinking nothing of it. Besides which, I like to describe myself as a nihilist. Okay, so do I believe in tricksters or don't I? If I don't believe then I have to declare all those otherwise sober and honest people who've encountered them to be liars. I don't think so - they and their stories were possessed of too much credibility for me to be so flip. Besides which it's hard to argue with the 70,000 people at Fatima who saw the sun turn to silver and fly around like a UFO. Speaking of which, and apropos the above discussions of exorcism, no surprises that the Catholic Church responded to the whole Fatima affair as if they wished it hadn't happened. That's the problem with tricksters. They're too real to ignore and too unpredictable to shoehorn into a doctrine.

Why don't I lay it on the line, define what we're dealing with, and then do the full circle trick, and bring it back to the beginning. Which is to say, let's see if that doesn't tell us something about the relationship between satanism and the pedophocracy / death cult.

Let's just start with the basis that demons / tricksters are real but merely in and of themselves. Let's not plug them into any religious world-is-thus. Do that and you instantly enter the realm of Father Karras and It-doesn't-make-any-sense. Thus we view them as a non-denominational forces of nature. They just are. And never mind me concentrating on The Exorcist. It just happened to be on the telly with me deciding to make it the vehicle for the discussion. Anyone who's hung at Rigorous Intuition will know that whatever these entities are they come in every shape, size, and description: aliens, dwarves, elves, pixies, leprechauns, kitsune, coyote, djinns, demons, poltergeists... honestly, the list is endless. They exist like rainfall exists and tuppence for anything beyond that.


So, what are we talking about exactly? Rather than dwell on the differences, as per usual it's best to gun for commonalities.

- they are tricksters with a spectacular propensity to lie.
- they are not from 'here' and may come and go.
- they are not serene and are possessed of human-like egotistical attributes, even pointless and perverse ones.
- they take advantage of the young, the weak-willed, the foolish.
- they are possessed of powers and abilities that are greater than those of any individual human but this fails in the face of people acting in concert.
- they may be summoned and likewise sent away.
- they are (Mythago-Wood-style) empowered by belief, which is to say attention, ie. come the day everyone refuses to have anything to do with them, they will be gone.
- they are not an avatar of any religion, and anything they say to the contrary is merely a manifestation of the first point in the list.

So! Have I rolled over and become a believer in all things supernature? Fat chance. I'm a Buddhist of the zen variety who wishes only to cast off all desire. What could these creatures offer me? Oneness with the universe? Not bloody likely. Besides which, is there a shortcut for nirvana? And more to the point why would one believe them even if they were to offer it? If I desire nothing from them and likewise give them nothing, neither fear, nor reverence, nor awe, then not only is our business done, but it will never start. A fig for them.

At long last satanism

And then there's satanism. Unlike every other major religion satanism embraces the tricksters. The punters in a Catholic mass, say, can spend an hour and see nothing very remarkable. Satanists on the other hand...

According to Ohio vs. Estella Sexton, February 13, 1995, 1995 Ohio App. Lexis 1413, one of the children stated that family members were involved in satanic rituals, invoking spirits, and "baby thingies and things like that." “We will hold hands ... it mostly takes place after my grandmother died. They will bring her spirit back. Sometimes they bring devils back. They come out of the table and you see them floating around in the room ... we all hold hands while it’s happening.”

Has anyone reading here ever seen anything like that in any church they ever went to? No, me neither. The best it ever got for me was choir practice in an ancient church I wandered into in the middle of Venice many years ago - the acoustics were mind-buggering. And then there was that time with a gamelan orchestra accompanying four ethereal women doing a traditional dance in a temple in Ayutthaya. And I nearly fainted once from the power of a two hundred voice choir doing Carmina Burana at the Sydney Opera House. Oh wait, that's not even religious now that I think about it. But! Had I gone to a black mass, a good and proper one that didn't involve me as human sacrifice, I suspect I'd have been odds-on to see some truly spooky shit.

It doesn't mean anything of course. Yes, it is supernature but that doesn't mean it can't be a bullshit at the same time. A supernatural dog and a supernatural pony is still a dog and pony show. It'll impress the mug punters but in the grand scheme of things it isn't worth a pinch of shit. Supernature entities are not so different to human performers: if the audience has no time for them their balls will shrivel to raisins. The magic? I snap my fingers. Or I turn the house lights up. Either one will do.

And never mind me, here's as neat a summary of the real world power of satanists as you'll find anywhere-

March 25, 1998, MEXICO CITY, MEXICO, Elio Hernandez Rivera, David Serna Valdes and Sergio Martinez Salinas, Sentences for Murder, Conspiracy, Drug Trafficking and Weapons Violations. The group thought their self-styled religion, which drew from the Caribbean Santeria and the African Palo Mayombe traditions, would render them bulletproof and protect them from police and rival gang members which was the rationale for why they “sacrificed” Mark Kilroy and others.

Yeah, so much for that. And they only had to slay thirteen people to figure out it was crap.


That of course is why the occult is hidden. In fact occult means hidden. There are those who'd argue that magic is somehow naturally hidden and that's why it's right one should spend one's life searching. I don't know about that. What if I said that any hiding was done as a deliberate act by the dog-and-pony-show proprietors keen not to lose their livelihood? If it ain't hidden, there ain't no show. "Please don't take away my dog and my pony! Without them I'll have to work for a living!"

Now factor in James 'The Amazing' Randi, famous debunker, paedophilia accusee, and board member of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation. Sorry Amazing, but you hang with those fuckers you get tarred with that brush and that's all there is to it. So there's Amazing with a sign over his head proclaiming satanist spook affiliations, all the while running around debunking everyone else's magic. Sure. That's makes sense doesn't it? God forbid the wrong people should avail themselves of the tricksters.

Oh, and Satan? He's bullshit, just another lie, one that suits not just the trickster but the dog-and-pony bullshit artists who want to piggyback their way into being our masters. Thus, if one was actually to encounter Satan it's only because the trickster has settled on that as the thing we're most likely to be impressed by. Remember Satan appearing to Jesus in the New Testament? What if I said he wasn't Satan at all but just another trickster talking to him in a language he knew he'd understand? Otherwise, should anyone ever encounter a trickster there's only one thing to keep in mind: believe nothing about what they say, or how they appear. Nothing. And then you tell them to fuck off and you turn on your heel and leave.


But to hell with the dog and pony. The truth is that the heavies at the pointy end of the satanist pyramid know that it's all bullshit. The only part of it that counts is keeping it all hidden. Provided you can keep your shit hidden, you can walk on water. Believe it or not, I've done it. And I built the rig myself.

And so, the tricksters are pissweak nothings that, in the right secluded setting with the lighting just so, function as a cheap trick to impress the credulous and trick them / trip them across the line. Then, once in and up to their necks in blood and illicit sex - belief, disbelief, it no longer matters - they cannot leave. And the beauty of it is, it's all non-denominational - Micks, Proddos, Jews, Mormons, whomever. And here we are scratching our heads as to whose shitfight is this? The beauty of satanism is, we'll never figure it out. 'Hidden' is the core of their DNA. And there you have satanism: the perfect recruitment vehicle, the perfect corruption mechanism, the perfect don't-argue compliance enforcer, the perfect thing-that-doesn't-exist. And all piggy-backed on a low-rent magic act that in and of itself is good for nothing. Think about it - if the magic was powerful why do they skulk around in the dark? Fact is - it has no power, not beyond it's ability to impress dupes. Dupes = slaves, and slaves are things worth having.

Black and White, Babies and Bathwater

I understand that I might be accused of... um, 'throwing the baby out with the bath water'. ie. as in all things, there is good and bad and so it is with supernatural entities. Thus by rejecting all supernatural entities we miss out on that which is good. The key word here is 'good' - 'good' as in a baby is good and thus to throw it out would be 'bad'.


Let's stop. We'll stop because the above metaphor is bullshit insofar as it's a classic case of begging the question. And no, I'm not 'prompting the question', rather I'm 'asking a question possessed of an assumption' and God knows 'baby with the bath water' is precisely that. The assumption is that an encounter with a spirit who is not a trickster is inherently good, good like a baby is good, unimpeachable like motherhood is unimpeachable. Yeah, says I? Bullshit.

Frankly we'd be closer to the mark if we were to compare it to throwing out the good bath water with the bad bath water. And sure, anyone hearing such a daft non-expression would rightly shake their head since it doesn't make any sense. Besides which, bathing is good isn't it? Exactly, we're still begging the question. So! Let's chuck out the baby and the bath water, certainly as an expression, and come up with a new one. Thus, me declaring that one should have nothing to do with any supernatural entities is like 'throwing out the white chess pieces with the black ones'. This will never catch on as a phrase but it's not meant to.

Rather it's a discussion of what's the point. Who in their right mind would declare that, yes, black chess pieces are bad but that white ones are good? Why not just skip chess altogether? Haven't we better things to do? And for the sake of the chess fans out there let me declare that this is an allegorical chess. Instead of being a pleasant hour long diversion, it stands for what's-in-it-for-me, with 'me' as an entity opposed to 'them'.



Forget what's-in-it-for-me. Imagine yourself in the world, and all without intermediaries. Well, not beyond the wind in your face, that is. No gods, no devils, no heaven, no hell, and yep, above us only sky. Is that too terrible? That would work wouldn't it? In the presence of nature what need is there for supernature? Apart from selfish reasons? Why would one look out on this temporal world with its infinite intensity and say they want more? ...that they want to look beneath? ...that there must be something beyond this? What is there beneath a crested bronzewing apart from the sound of its wings beating the air? Such a magical sound ...and no magic in it! Me, I rejoice. Why the hunt for belief with the world so full already?

A tuppence for tricksters, their handlers, hell, all those goddam priests, and everyone else with their magic act world-is-thus. They're completely superfluous the lot of them and exist only in, of, and for themselves. Like the non-god / non-trickster Buddha said - there is only here and now. Anything beyond that is bullshit.

Next on ABC - Media Watch Death Cult Love-Fest!

In wondering at that timeless question, What would I do if I were the producer of the ABC's Media Watch?, I decided that I would turn it into a panel show. And in true Tarantino pastiche style, I'd make it the best damn panel show ever. Thus, it would be a bit of everything: The Daily Show, The Chaser, Spicks and Specks, The Gruen Transfer, hell, we'll even throw My Word into the mix. Bugger it, let's get hell-bent and dig up the corpse of Frank Muir - even dead he'll beat the pants off just about anyone.


Apologies to foreigners who've never seen the above-mentioned programmes. Just take it as read that I'm talking about one of those whacky panel shows peopled with clever trousers trying to crack each other up. And in this case, we focus on certain unremarked-upon strands within the media and how they manifest themselves, and how they don't, and what it all means. Or doesn't mean.

And all in adulatory terms! Bravo the death cult! We think they're tops. Here at the Love-Fest, we say a tuppence for the death cult's shy modesty. If anyone in the world deserved celebrity status, it's the god-kings of the new world order. So here we'll give them the full treatment - graphics, footage, animation, sound effects, canned laughter - the full tilterama. [note to Sal - delete - It would be great if we could get some Chinese Opera in there somehow. No reason, I just like Chinese Opera. Do you know anyone?]

Don't worry if you don't understand a given gag. You don't want to understand it. Hell, I don't want to understand it. And often as not I don't. And that's half the fun. It's like the Pixies - knowing what all their songs mean precisely, would be a mistake. I call it the joy of not understanding. Black Francis gets it, I'm sure. Anyway, this is like that. Or at least, 'the vibe is in mind'. Thus, here's my sure-fire outline for a winner show, which is to say, the kind of show I want to watch. Each of the sketches could be weekly regulars or they may be one-offs. Nothing is rigid. The only rule is to get laughs and attack from sideways.

Good News from the Good War


We start the show with a somewhat solemn segment. The panel discusses the rightness of whatever war it is we're in and backs up the latest reason given for it. "At least it's all for a good cause" etc. Mind you, we don't want this to be too po-faced, so perhaps we break the ice a little (and keep things within traditional military bounds) by treating the week's TV montage of Good War News as one of those checklist drinking games.

- Skol (drink/down/chug/whatever) one drink for any depiction of Western soldiers as Good Samaritans who are only there to help people. Skol two for any soldier wondering why the locals aren't more appreciative of the help they're being given. Skol three for any soldiers guarding poppy fields.
- Skol one for every instance of locals who love the Americans and want them to stay. Skol two for local kids who've been blown up, taken to America, and think America is great. Skol three for any Muslim woman who fell in love with an American boy, rejected Islam, got married, emigrated, and now has a top-selling line of sexy lingerie exercise videos. (I just made that up - is it too silly? Probably not).
- Skol one for any Western Soldiers who've been blown up and are now 'helping to change people's lives by serving as an inspiration'. Skol two if they appear with the Prime Minister or President. And skol three if either of the latter get the bloke's name wrong.
- Skol one for the phrase 'moving forward'. Skol two for anyone explaining how we need to be there 'until the mission/job is completed/finished' whilst failing to mention what the mission/job is, or how we'd complete/finish it. Skol three for any use of the phrase, ironic or otherwise, 'there's light at the end of the tunnel'.

Optional Oblivion-Here-We-Come Speed Version
- Skol one for any Jewish talking head. Skol two for any Jewish talking head interviewing another Jewish talking head. Skol three for any report in which every talking head is Jewish. Double up if the topic is Muslim wickedness.

And so it goes with the show barely ten minutes in and the entire panel completely rat-arse drunk already.

The Reserve Bank Snark Hunt


Sobering quickly now, the panel searches for any sight of the Reserve Bank Snark. Not that anyone knows what the Snark is exactly since no one will say, but the panel does its best. Each week they trawl the media for any mention of it to see if we might add an ear, hoof, or tail to our sketchy picture. Included would be: sightings, habits, and behaviour of component board members; backwards engineering wherein we analyse the behaviour of politicians etc. who come into contact with the Snark, to see what clues that provides; a look at Snarks through history (with dead celebrity reporter-in-effigy Andrew Jackson); a look at the latest blurry viewer photos and videos of possible snarks; interviews with psychics, baristas, prostitutes etc. [Hey Sal - delete - Ideas for accompanying music: what's that music they play whenever there's a horse race? You know what I mean? Yeah, well... that]

Manny Goldstein's Fantasy Villain League


Here celebrity reporter Manny Goldstein takes the panel through the week's action and answers the perennial (and rather proper) question, 'At whom should we be shaking our collective fist this week?' Panel members (along with viewers) can swap and trade players in their fantasy villain league with Manny providing the latest tips - precise details of foreign corruption, foreign wickedness, foreign mistreatment of women, execution by swords, stones, and other means of death that Westerners don't use, mass graves, mass starvation, as well as a quick summary of villains' bad hair, clothes, shoes, etc.

And we can all play safe in the knowledge that none of it has anything to do with us and they've only themselves to blame. Each week the prize will snowball until one lucky viewer hits the jackpot when we find out which of our villains was so evil that we had no choice but to steal his nation's shit and turn what was left into a radioactive wasteland. It's lots of fun and completely harmless. NB. Apart from the jackpot prize (which could be as much as a hundred dollars), the top player is also guaranteed a starting place in the CFR-Trilateral-Bilderberger Pro-Am Circuit.

Conspiracy Nutbar Crunchfest


Wherein the media's best derisory use of the phrase 'conspiracy theory' provides an opportunity for the panel to pile in and kick the shit out of the mad idea, as well as the tin-foil hat wearing loony who uttered it. This can be presented as a point scoring buzzer game with the panel given a list of set responses ('That's just crazy', 'He'll be talking about UFO's next', 'Anti-Semitism!', 'They would never do it', 'That's just crazy', etc), then upon hearing various 'facts' put forward by the loony, the panel members hit their buzzer to be first with the right set response (extra points for eye-rolling, head-shaking, and 'snorting'). The segment ends with the Forget-Me-Hot-List which is an easy to remember list of things one should forget. This, so as to more correctly view the week's particular crazy conspiracy theory, ie. for flight 93:

-There was no wreckage at the Shanksville site, nothing, not a sausage.
-The 'scar' in the earth was always there and was unconnected to the crash.
-Sundry non-spook witnesses describe an entirely separate and different event taking place miles away.

All of the footage would be accompanied by a laugh track featuring audience jeers, catcalls, and cries of 'That's just crazy!'

Three Cheers For Israel


This segment always begins with the traditional cry of "Three Cheers For Israel! Hip, Hip..." which is always always met with the traditional embarassed silence and slight cough from the back of the audience [note to Sal *please delete* - when we're in audio, perhaps we could sneak in a quietly muttered 'yeah, get fucked', so quiet that only we know it's there, you know what I mean? no harm in trying]. This segment has two parts - Kowtow of the Week and The Mark Regev Fan Club.

Kowtow of the Week


In which the panel picks the week's best kowtow to Israel, whether from a politician, interviewer, or news report. In the same way that The Gruen Transfer extols the virtues of selling the indefensible, The Death Cult Love-Fest ever seeks to more fulsomely laud the fulsome lauding of the world's shittiest country. The various brilliant means of doing this are discussed and praised. Of course in order to bring a sense of 'balance' the panel will occasionally offer critical tips as to how a kowtower might improve their performance and otherwise be more effective. The running-joke catch-cry: Know No Shame!

Mark Regev Fan Club


A special place for all the Mark Regev fans out there. There's no one quite like him is there? The panel variously: waxes rhapsodic about Mark's latest media appearance; admires his hair, clothes, and shoes; judges the best stories and art work sent in by the viewers; screens the latest episode of our regular FANimation™ The Adventures of Lego Mark Regev in which we see Mark have various fan-imagined Lego adventures with the fan doing their best Mark voice-over impersonation - which of course will explain the rightness of whatever our little Lego Mark is doing. Other ideas: The 'Cook Mark a Meal' Recipe Club wherein fans send in recipes that Mark might like and the panel cooks them and discusses how 'Mark' they are; Video Karaoke Singalong - send your favourite love song to Mark whilst watching the burning of Gaza and Lebanon; and various hot discussions from the website forum, If Mark Regev were Doc Ock, would he beat Spider-Man?, and the hugely popular Funny Vid! Dude lights fart while Mark Regev is on TV, and Captain_boinging is a FUCKTARD - I happen TO KNOW THat MARK REGEV bought THRILLER and LIKED IT!!!!!!!! MICHAEL JACKSON is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! etc. etc. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. We just put his fat head on the screen weekly, rip the living shit out of him, make him an object of complete ridicule, and all without ever quite giving him anything to sue us over. Easy.

Give Us A Wink, Rupes!


Here the panel contributes what they consider to be the best media racist wink of the week. The winner is whichever story maxes out the audience's famous Something-From-Nothing-Clap-O-Meter, as adjusted by the Duckworth-Lewis value S/N (where S = something, ie. racist mileage, and N = nothing, ie. How the most common name in the world Li/Lee is also the most common name topping university entrance scores. Wow, that just goes to show doesn't it? Anyway, you multiply that by the number you first thought of and you get a funny score). Three cheers! Speaking of scores, our guest celebrity Ezra Pound is currently in the lead with 17 points in spite of not having uttered a single word. As you can see, Ezra is there to balance Frank Muir and is, like Frank, 'no longer quick'. So, what with him lacking Frank Muir's sound-bite library, we came up with the idea of cutting up The Cantos into single sentences, putting them all in a hat, and then picking one out randomly in answer to each question. Spookily enough he absolutely nailed it every time. A big hand for Ezra! Yay!

King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick


What with the panel being a pack of smart-arses who'd like to make a lot of money without working very hard, there isn't one of them who wouldn't love some kind of semi-permanent celebrity spot with the death cult. It's all very well being in at the bloody ABC but the money is dead ordinary and there's no hookers, no drugs, no nothing. Anyway, in honour of their own desire for money (and drug-fueled mad rooting) each week the members of the panel do their best to win the coveted title King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick. In this competition, panel members take their weekly turn to make a pitch to the death cult outlining the genius plan they've come up with for installing them as god-kings of the new world order complete with hot and cold running sex slaves (hallowed be their names) (the god-kings, not the sex slaves). You can see why a fellow would want to dig up Frank Muir, couldn't you? He'd have made the perfect first King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick.

End of Year Special


This is our annual end of the year lollapalooza drone-fest special. As a way of doing the obligatory that-was-the-year-that-was round-up thingy, we go with the obvious awards gag. The awards will come in two categories: funny ones we just made up to match the funny footage; and proper annual awards that we actually have to think of winners for. The latter categories might include - Best Arse, Best Fathead, Best Transparently Obvious Lie, Best Give-The-Game-Away, Biggest Shut-The-Fuck-Up, Best Slut, Best Insult To Our Intelligence, Best Mind Control Zombie, Best Bragging, Best Blame The Victim, and finally the top award, the hallowed Best And Biggest Big Lie.

This last award goes to the person in the world least afraid of irony, hypocrisy, or shame, with more chutzpah than God, a bold person who's prepared to embrace the perversity of taking a leaf out of Adolf Hitler's Big Lie playbook, and who, in testimony to their own brilliance, goes Hitler one better and doesn't idiotically explain how the Big Lie works before they do it - pauses, looks to camera - Instead they 'Just Do It', and they don't even have to pay Nike for the privilege. And sure enough, in fine who-was-that-masked-man style, they slip off into obscurity hoping that nobody noticed. Ever self-effacing, the Death Cult.

---

Self-effacing gentlemen and scholars! Rare geniuses and saints! Well, it just so happens that nobody did notice: they noticed, they took inspiration, and may I say that I hope the death cult funding board grabs this opportunity to pick up this sure-fire TV comedy hit, safe in the knowledge that with the proper monetary backing it can be burned in effigy, thrown into the ocean from a helicopter, or just left here on this blog (whichever gets the least attention). Honestly Death Cult, this thing sells itself! You'd be mad not to pay the very low price!

Cue audience applause! Yay!

Inevitability, the end of the world, and the many-minds juju

I reckon I'm onto something here. Mind you, I always think that... but whatever! I'm writing, you're reading, let's just do it. Today's thought pivots on what I consider to be the only juju that actually possesses any power: the juju of many minds thinking the same thought. And the thought that counts here is a biggie - the 'inevitability' of the the coming apocalypse/armageddon/gotterdammerung/time-of-revelation/insert_word_of_your_choice_here.

Where to start? How about Arnie Schwarzenneger? I choose him not because he's significant - he ain't. He's just another clueless puppet seduced by the usual mansions, yachts, and mind-control pussy. Rather he stands in here as an easily understood signpost in a many-minds juju gig. To wit: the everyone-must-hate-Muslims campaign that began with his execrable/brilliant True Lies flick. Pay no attention to the in-joke mind-control title, it's the thrust of the campaign here that counts.

Now that we have a better understanding of how these things work, this particular campaign was actually fucking obvious. The death cult wanted the nations of the West at war with Muslims. Sure enough, under the many-minds juju rubric it was necessary that we believed that Muslims were mad, death-wish psychopaths who hated us for our freedom. Or somesuch. Don't worry that none of it made a lick of sense, nor that it was utterly at odds with what those who were familiar with actual non-Hollywood Muslims knew to be the truth, ie. that they are the most charming and hospitable people you could meet. Common sense, real world experience - none of that is a match for a manufactured many-minds juju.


From the deliriously racist Hot Shots Part Deux, through to the too clever for itself 24, onto the wolf in sheep's clothing Rendition, we can observe the roll-out of a long planned campaign at least twenty years in the making. With the bloc-media filling in all the gaps in between, enough of that shit bubbled through the ground water so that when the time came we were there already. Literally, now that I think about it: Have MOAB, Will Travel.

And back at home, we the otherwise right-thinking (who couldn't help but drink the water), muttered briefly, but not too much on account of that wee nagging voice telling us that Muslims aren't quite the thing are they? Honestly, they're their own worst enemy and they bring it upon themselves. But to hell with us as righteous white folk, even the very people who should have known better, which is to say Muslims, in the face of the many-minds juju ended up following that time-honoured teenage dictum If you've got the name, you may as well have the game. It's a bullshit logic, but like that ever stopped anyone before. If everybody thinks so, there must be something to it. Even Sirhan Sirhan thought he must somehow have been guilty.

Still now I can still hear that wee nagging voice in my head. For God's sake - they're only movies. Ayah, it doesn't shut up does it? It's the voice of the believer I used to be. Yeah well, they're only movies in precisely the same way that fluoride is only in the water to Make Our Teeth Strong! Never mind that fluoride is toxic waste from the aluminium and uranium smelting industries, has never (ever) naturally been consumed by humans, and in all other uses must carry a poisons warning that it should under no circumstances be ingested - here we are in a world where everyone thinks it's good. Oh dear, have I strayed again? Kinda, sorta, not really. Fluoride, Muslims, take your pick. If the bloc-media runs with it, without dissenting voices, it's a done deal. We'll drink toxic waste, commit genocide, whatever. Give them time and we'll be raping our own children. Oh look, it's Miley Cyrus' sister Noah teaching little girls how to pole dance. Isn't that adorable?


Whatever, a tuppence for the endless small time tactical shit. It's just scene setting. We're here for the big strategic juju crunch point - us being prepped for the end of the goddamn world. Sure enough, small bites will only get you so far in instituting a Rothschild uber alles one world government. Somewhere along the line Naomi (no-Rothschilds-here) Klein's Shock Doctrine will have to be deployed. Big Time. And when a thing cannot be permitted to fail, half measures will not do - it's overkill or fuck off. No one's missed the overkill have they? What have we got so far?

-The Great War On Terror Muslims - The GWOTM: serves to destroy the only alternative to usury's money-as-debt; provides an enemy and thus a basis for the implementation of fascism; puts the Western world in a once-you're-in-you-can't-get-out permanent war footing; and not forgetting its well proven ability to destroy an economy.

-Global economic collapse - Not over yet folks! Hell, we've barely started. The GWOTM will only destroy America's economy. Since this is a global gig, everyone must fall. Fine - get every nation in debt up to their eyeballs, pile on 500 trillion worth of derivatives, pull the pin, retreat to Switzerland. Simple.

-Global warming - I'm wondering if this isn't just opportunism? Perhaps the climate is changing. The sun is very big and we know fuck all about it. Or the whole thing is bullshit in its entirety. Who can tell? Either way bullshit is a certainty, and here the bullshit pivots on it being the fault of humans. The only thing we know for sure is that whether the climate is changing or not, the idea of a global regime and a tax based on breathing is simply beyond irresistible for the death cult. Honestly, if global warming didn't exist, they'd have to invent it.

-The coming we-told-you-so global pandemic - AKA How to kill five billion people without really trying. And all with global chaos and further reinforcement of the need for global government thrown in for free. Yee ha! A thing worth doing. If you're a death cult motherfucker, that is.

-Mike Ruppert's peak oil - Between Dave McGowan and the Gulf of Mexico disaster, I'm wondering if this one hasn't come a bit of a cropper? Still, that's the point of overkill - if one campaign fails it's not the end of the-end-of-the-world. Mind you, any number of other plans have been blown wide open and what happened? Nothing. They just carry on regardless. Perhaps it's early days for the peak oil gig? Who knows?

-The Sea Turning To Fire and other natural disasters - Gulf stream oil spills are one thing and HAARP is another. Is the former global? It's hard to know. The latter less so (technically tactical rather than strategic). But still, it's a hell of a thing HAARP - your own personal franchise of Acts-of-God 'R' Us. It's beautiful if you think about it: it's the don't-argue fear machine from hell and it's the roll-your-eyes deniable natural event. Perfect against China. Whether China gets the don't fuck with us deterrence hint, or they don't get it and are kept busy dealing with millions of casualties, it's all good. (Att: Russia and China - are HAARP pulses monitor-able? You might want to get onto that. If intelligence shows that HAARP is an earthquake maker, me, I'd declare nukes justifiable).

Did I miss anything? Oh, and did that add up to six? Yeah. Gee, I hate that number. Whatever, let's just ask the question: what do these things have in common? Apart from being made from whole cloth, and each with its own specific many-minds juju campaign? Me, I'd declare them 'piecemeal' (for want of a better word). If we were in an advertising rollout (and we are) each of these would represent a brand, or a stream, or an aspect, each within the corporate-mission-statement totality of the 'apocalypse' campaign. So where's that total branding? The umbrella meme to tie it all together? It has to be there.


Think Egypt in the bible. God didn't separately dish out one plague after another for ten separate sins. Each element of the overkill came under the single rubric of... well, let's just call it: Everyone must love Jews or die. Thus we have God imagined as an idealised expression of Jewish contempt and hatred for those not them. "What we want the public to understand here is how great we are by way of here's what happens to anyone who doubts it." No surprises then that for those imagined to have wronged the Jews, one plague is not enough. It's Crucifixion's too good for them writ large, really large, as large as God.

NB. For the record (and me back on my old hobby horse) - whatever the death cult call themselves, whether Jews, or Sabbateans, or Moloch worshipping Satanists, they're actually nothing more than anti-buddhas who've chosen the selfishness end of the continuum. Choosing that over selflessness is the most prosaic and obvious thing imaginable. It's them choosing to emulate beasts, otherwise pitiable creatures who lack the ability to do otherwise. The fact that the death cult infinitely outstrip the beasts in their beastliness doesn't make them great. Any nth degree thoughtless fuckwit cunt who's chosen the obvious and made it to the top of that particular pyramid is still a thoughtless fuckwit cunt. Yeah, death cult kiddy rapers, I'm talking to you.

Back to the business at hand! Each of these sundry campaigns have to be tied together thematically. In fact this thematic totality must come first. Everything then will follow on in simple order. The totality is obvious, really. All of the above are simply variations of Lookout! It's the End Of The World! Is anyone surprised? Of course it's the end of the world. It's always been a winner. It's the same precise logic by which salesmen tell you that an offer only lasts for a day. Don't think. There's no time. Just stampede!


Over and over, the same thing every time. Why change it? Only an idiot would reinvent the wheel. The end of the world is so reliable that even Buddhists fall for it. The list of Maitreyan rebellions is very long and very bloody. You'd think they'd know better, wouldn't you? Especially given that Maitreya will only return when the Buddha Dharma has disappeared from the face of the earth. Never mind. It's the classic meme and plugged into the power of the many-minds juju it works every time, and for everyone. Even us, the clever trousers.

Hands up everyone who thinks a not-made-by-the-hand-of-man apocalypse-something-or-other is just around the corner? I hate to say it, but the death cult gives three cheers. The more the merrier says they. And here we are thinking that the above list of disasters are all false, contrivances created to push us to a bullshit end, but... 2012! The Mayan calendar! Look at the weather! Well, of course! In amongst this jigsaw puzzle of many pieces, this is the photo stamped on the front to make sense of it all. And here we are dismissing the pieces but embracing the photo. As Su brilliantly said in the comments one time, in chess the white pieces have a purpose and the black pieces have a purpose, but the game itself has no purpose. So are we chess fans or aren't we?

Back to Hollywood. Here the death cult is telling you where they want your heads to be. On a block, ha! Yeah, yeah, cheap jokes aside, the many-minds juju machine loves the end of the world. It's not an accident that all those movies that used to involve the hero saving the world now skip that last bit. Now the world is destroyed with a Knowing Nick Cage realising that there's nothing for it but to hand his kids over to, well... whomever, and then go home and wait to die. Oh, and any resemblance between those scenes in Knowing and the people smugglers in Haiti, Sudan, etc. is purely coincidental. These were aliens for chrissakes, not Baptists, or 4WD enthusiasts, or members of the Finders. Whew! Thank God.


And thank God for Roland Emmerich and his Day After Tomorrow and 2012. Apparently those pix are all part of his noble campaign to increase awareness of 'the lack of a government preparation plan for a global doomsday scenario'. Sheesh, with good guys like him, who needs motherfuckers? And hasn't he heard of COG? That's Continuity Of Government, Roland. And don't worry mate, it's all under control: even as we speak truckloads of Krug and pâté de foie gras are being shipped into secret underground locations. Otherwise, the only 'global doomsday scenario' that's going to take place will be 100% man made. 'Lack of government preparation'? Ha ha ha ha - nice one Roland. Who said Germans weren't funny?

Hollywood loves the end of the world and we love it too. And sure Hollywood is bullshit, just another part of the bloc-media telling us to hate Muslims etc. But here, they... I don't know? What do we think? That they've accidentally tapped into the truth? Or that there's bits and pieces of Hollywood that aren't really part of a bloc-media, aren't part of the mind-control programme, and that somehow these insane budget epics escaped oversight? It's only a movie, says the wee voice.

Sorry, but I'm going to have beg off that particular chestnut. Given the nature of the death-cult campaign and how if this meme didn't exist they'd have to invent it anyway; Given that the end of the world gag has been done more times than anyone could count, and never with a lick of truth, nor to any useful purpose; Given that other campaigns that we know to be false have run the gamut from Mike Ruppert's bullshit indy cred through to the voice-of-the-Rothschilds bloc-media; Given that this is the campaign, the campaign to end all campaigns, that cannot be allowed to fail; Given all of that, why are we falling for it?


And why do we get excited about a fellow, or group of people (it's hard to know really) who say that they've somehow managed to dredge through every single thing written on the net and, by way of 'asymmetric language trend analysis', use this to distil the future? He (or they) then turn this into 40-odd pages of frankly unintelligible gibberish in which, fortune-teller style, one may happily read whatever one wants. As long as it's the end of the world, that is. Is that guy for real? I mean, really? He's not a psy-op? Even though he precisely resembles one? And even though he must either have the most staggering array of supercomputers to process it all, or he's just pulled it out of his arse?

Last week in Sydney, whilst staying with friends who have an ADSL line I succeeded in downloading all 7Gb of a text-only wikipedia. I now have an offline wikipedia on my hard drive (and it's fantastic, I love it - three cheers). But it took all night. To include all notes, discussions, and meta-data would have come to several terrabytes of data, an impossible download. And that's just wikipedia, a single (albeit large) website, one amongst millions. Okay, now imagine the impossibility of dealing with everything written on the net. This is google territory and they need acreages of computers and a town's worth of power for it. And this guy does it on what? His desktop? The computers at work during downtime? Fucking hell, I shake my head. Oh, and Les Visible gets a tip of the hat does he? Madness! In the ocean that is the internet, if all mentions of Les Visible add up to more than a single drop in that ocean, I'll eat my motorcycle. And yet, this fellow somehow finds Les in amongst the mega-magilla-gorilla-gazilla-bytes he downloads does he? Or is it just a fact that Les is on-message with the end of the world meme? Because that is a fact.

Where are our heads at? With Mike Ruppert telling us of the inevitability of mass death? Or with Dave McGowan calling him out as bullshit? (Oh look, Mike Ruppert has a book and a movie. Sure! Mike gets the bloc-media tick of approval).


Are we dizzy yet? Too dizzy to ask the question: What's he fucking on about? What's his point? My point is that if I'm prepared to call bullshit on (let's check them off): peak oil as an excuse for mass murder; swine flu as a natural event; global warming as man-made; the GWOTM as 'Muslims started it all'; natural disasters as nothing-to-be-done-for-it acts of God; and economic collapse as a couldn't-be-helped accident; why wouldn't I take that one-more-step and call out this apocalypse thingy too? It's no different. It's just more of the same, part-and-parcel. Of course they'd do it. They have to. This campaign cannot be allowed to fail. Everything that is humanly possible will be done.

And it is being done. But humanly possible is the key expression here. There is no hand of God in amongst it. There is no heavenly host cum cavalry galloping into the frame. Or to put it another way, there is no deus ex machina. And there never was unless humans put it there. The god in the machine was always a con. The 'machina' in deus ex machina is nothing more than the means of contrivance: it's the stage, the wings, and the proscenium arch; it's a thousand people operating cameras, rigs, and buildings full of computers; it's a pyramid of power with armies toiling to convince you of the reality of the 'deus'. But here, the 'deus' is as false as the 'machina'. Deus ex machina is merely a statement of what someone else wishes to achieve and how they go about convincing you, the viewer, of its god-like it-must-be-so nature.


But people may believe what they like. All I can say is, include me out. I'm too old for that shit now. Somewhere along the line I grew up. And sure, it came as a surprise but what are you going to do? Shit happens. Now I say the death cult can take their inevitability and stick it up their arse. I don't care how many people pile in declaring it to be so. Nor how well meaning they are. All I know is, if you pile in, it will be so. That's how the juju works.

The inevitability of the end of the world? Yawn. It's just a wish - the wet dream of the death cult. I ain't lending a hand to help a pack of wankers blow their wad. They can jerk off on their own time.

休暇

私は1週間休暇にある。 私は次の土曜日戻る。

Indiana Jones and the Salvation of the Swastika

Here I step into the dark, to wonder at things I don't understand very well. I'm not much at arcana, in fact I tend to reject it all on principle. But occasionally things loom out of the dimness and, like clouds in a Hollywood cloud tank, they seem to form pictures that demand my attention.


It all started with me wondering at the swastika. No one needs me to tell them what the swastika is now - it's easily the most reviled symbol in the world. It's very depiction is illegal in most countries in Europe. Absurdly, even anti-Nazis displaying it with a Ghostbusters circle-with-red-slash were technically breaking the law. That is until Claudia Roth, a Jewish member of the Bundestag, deliberately had herself arrested campaigning for the right of people to denigrate the swastika. Never mind that nazism per se is dead and buried, and appears only to exist in invariably Jewish-led race hate organisations. Nor should we wonder at the subsequent idiocy of these neo-nazis whose main task it seems is to behave like perfectly obnoxious arseholes and leave behind a trail of swastikas so that we might know where to direct our hatred. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. First - what is the swastika? Actually, never mind that. What is a symbol?

As I learnt in that piece where I ineptly wondered at pyramids, symbols are a big deal. In the beginning there was the word. This refers to God apparently, who variously was with the word, or was the word. Whether you believe in God or not, the bible has a point in declaring words/symbols significant. Without a series of symbolic representations (at first vocal and later visual) to represent ideas, what would the ideas be? Would there even be any ideas at all? And without these what would we be? How would we differ from other higher order mammals?


Remember Koko the gorilla? She could speak by way of sign-language and had a vocabulary of 2000 words. What if Koko had a similarly capable mate? What if they were taken back to the wilds of Rwanda to have kids? And were then left alone, sure enough. Imagine this as a self-replicating ability - genes and memes hand in hand. With the kids then similarly literate, imagine Charles Darwin smiling as successive mates chose each other based on their ability to express themselves with symbols. That the gorillas would arrive at a point whereby they could remark upon their own cleverness would have to be an inevitability surely.

Never mind fuzzy counterpropositions, I declare that even without our intervention such a result is inevitable: A fist in the palm to express punishment; a skull on a stick to denote a place of bad juju; various colours daubed on a cave wall to indicate places of: hunting, gathering, feast, famine. Given enough time (and evolution has nothing if not insane amounts of time) there is only one end point to this path - a symbol based communication capable of remarking upon itself. Humans as teachers might speed things up but really, to imagine that it wouldn't happen without us says more about us than it does about the gorillas.


One millennia or a thousand, both are a blink of the eye to evolution. And within that, would we be surprised that a creature whose previous mechanism for complying with Darwin's dictums had consisted almost entirely of It's all about me, would rise to heights of self-impressed dizziness? With that as a headspace, might that creature not go on to describe its ability to deal with symbols in terms of awe, indeed to conflate them with their own monkey gods? And might they not describe themselves in such terms, and worship themselves? But do we really need the experiment? Humans, the clever monkeys, have done both of these things. Thus In the beginning was the word and the word was God could happily be described as us being impressed with ourselves. And God knows we are that, ha ha.

Oh dear, have I digressed? The question was: what is a symbol? It seems that it's either a very big deal, the equal of God, or an obvious thing that, given enough time, any monkey could think of. Well, as self-appointed loud mouth of this here clever monkey blog I hereby declare it to be... both. In this real world of nothing-is-real, symbols are a big deal and a load of bullshit. Whatever! We shrug and carry on knowing that some things just 'are'.

"To celebrate twelve consecutive months each dedicated to documentaries depicting the horrors of the Nazi era, SBS television is proud to announce the inauguration of SBS's Decade of Nazi Documentaries. Every night, each week, for 52 weeks a year, for the next ten years, SBS will be screening all 3,650 episodes of the greatest documentary series ever made. Starting tonight with Typefaces of the Nazis: The Hidden War against the Hungarian Ümlaut, all the way through to the final stirring episode Fritz Deutsch: Recognition at Last for the Man who Refused to Catch Nazi Public Transport (VO - 'I walked everywhere, It was terrible'), this series will bring a whole new level of overkill to the most overkilled period of history the world has ever seen."

In amongst this absurd deluge of detail we are aware that the swastika is an old symbol that existed in those ill-defined times before Nazis walked the Earth. But what did it mean? How old was it? Who used it? Never mind the overkill, it seems that in this instance we are short on details. Rather than me simply regurgitating what I read at wikipedia why don't I just provide a link and you may go read for yourselves. Or you can just read the following summary if you like: The swastika is over seven thousand years old and was as close to ubiquitous as symbols get. It was common coinage in: North and South America, Europe and Asia Minor, the Subcontinent, as well as the entire Orient. Astoundingly, in every place it was in use it was viewed as a symbol of felicity and good luck. The irresistible question is: Was there ever a symbol to match it? Keep in mind that it arose independently on three continents and each with the same meaning. In terms of a biblical conflating of symbols with the supernatural, the swastika is definitely spooky.


And then the Nazis lobbed up and trashed it did they? 25 years versus seven millennia. Wow. A quick calculation and it seems that the swastika was used as a symbol of 'hate' for approximately 0.35% of the time in which it's been in existence. And that, only in a single country amongst the myriad that had previously used it. With that in mind, what degree of diminution should that previous figure undergo now? Would 0.35% of 0.35% be fair? Did somebody say 'overkill' before? Oh that's right, it was me. It seems that in trashing the swastika we've not just thrown the symbolic baby out with the bath water but we've thrown out every infant everywhere, and all on the account of a single tainted bath. It's Herod Does Hygiene, ha ha.

In case anyone is sitting there thinking, 'Yeah but...' we'll make this clear: no other 'evil' symbol has copped this treatment. The Japanese imperial war flag of WWII remains unchanged on their naval vessels, and only ever so slightly changed for their ground forces, and no one gives a shit. Their WWII national anthem Kimigayo (my second favourite after La Marseillaise) remains unaltered. The Italian fasces symbol (which gave fascism its name), if it aroused any recognition at all, would more likely be associated with the Roman Empire than with anything else (and with no great opprobrium either). Not forgetting that even within Germany, Deutschland Uber Alles is still the national anthem. Does anyone get weird about that? Do they arrest people for playing it? Hardly, it just got an audience of however-many-billion-it-was that watched the world cup. Okay, so what the fuck is going on? (*Um... seems it's not quite that simple. See the note in the comments).


I'll admit here that I've sort of answered my own question. Symbols are very powerful. Or to put it another way, very, very, very powerful. But who's responsible for the hate juju belonging to the swastika? The Nazis? They've been dead and buried for over sixty years. Maybe it's those Project Paperclip bastards who run America? Maybe they snapped their fingers and had their Jewish puppets in Hollywood give us movie after movie featuring swastikas ad nauseam so that we might hate the Nazis like... we've never hated... anyone... um, wait... did that idea just disappear up its own arse? A tuppence for Nazis as top dog.

This is simple stuff - Whatever power the swastika possesses in this day and age is due solely to the efforts of the Jewish owned media. Without them stuffing it down our throats all the time it would be right up there with the Japanese war flag. Or to put it another way, consigned to obscurity - just another symbol, one amongst many. Had Jews wanted to defang the swastika as a rallying-point / symbol-of-hatred they could have clicked their fingers and given it the Japanese treatment. But they didn't do that did they? Instead they rubbed our noses in it at every possible opportunity, and here we are with no prospect of it abating any time soon. Madly, the further we leave the Nazis in the past, the more movies we get and the nastier they become. Says Quentin Tarantino, "If I'm going to be a felcher for the Jews, I'm going to be the best damn felcher there ever was!"


I understand that this is all part and parcel of the Jews' need to distract us from their own anti-buddha wickedness and otherwise cast themselves as victims. Thus, the swastika is merely a means to that end. But what if we had it arse about? There's very little about the Jews that isn't false. None of them are Semitic for starters. Which is to say, they're not chosen by God so much as chosen by themselves. Then there's their symbolic miscellanea. Like the star of David! It seems that this doesn't date back to the time of David as you'd expect but to a slightly later time, um... 2700 years later, give or a take (ie. the 18th century). Its two single blink-and-you-miss-it appearances in the 11th century and the 15th century are design accidents - circles, triangles, squares, pentacles and sure, a six pointed star, why not? It's not like there was anything special about it.

And then there's the Zohar, heart of the Kabbalah, written by Shimon bar Yochai in the 2nd century (whispered into his ear by the prophet Elijah no less), and discovered in the 13th century Spain by one Moses de Leon. Eh? What's that Widow de Leon? She confessed that her husband himself was the author of the work. She had asked him several times why he had chosen to credit his own work to another, and he had always answered that doctrines put into the mouth of the miracle-working Shimon bar Yochai would be a rich source of profit. The devil you say! Pah! Doesn't matter! Chosen by God / Designed by Committee - it's all good. Jews are whatever works. If a thing furthers them in their course to becoming god-kings uber alles, it gets dropped into the metaphoric DNA and declared that it was always thus.


Oh dear, I've wandered again. Back to the mad what-if wondering: What if everything we've been told was bullshit? What if the swastika wasn't the means to an end but the end in itself? What if the point of the exercise was to crush the most singular and potent symbol of good the world has ever seen? And further, to reanimate it as a golem of death to serve its death cult masters? It's pretty far-fetched isn't it? And do we get the Steve Martin photo? "He's shooting at these cans! He hates cans!"

But symbols are very, very powerful and this one has had insane amounts of juice pumped into it to make it what it is today. Wonder again at Claudia Roth: she got herself arrested solely for the right of people to piss on the swastika, and only the swastika. Shake your head at the errant madness of that. Hell, shake your head at a people so obsessed with the number 6 that they had two holocausts both with six million victims. Then think of all those Jews who were sprung faking attacks on themselves / denigrating the swastika. No mistake they were doing one of those two things. Keep in mind they never write 'Jew Scum' on their faces, stomachs, doors, cars, tombstones, synagogues etc. It's always a swastika. Drop-ins may feel free to point to the occasional scrawling of the words 'red herring' here and there, and I'll gleefully point them at Agatha Christie.


Okay, so her works are fiction and perhaps that's what this should have been too - Indiana Jones and the Salvation of the Swastika. Starring as villain the only man ever to be born with the name of Hitler( ! ). With a cast of thousands featuring the most virulent Jew haters ever to be bankrolled by the Rothschilds. In this adventure Indy realises that the appearances of division are false and that the two hate-filled camps are actually a single entity: the Death Cult of the Anti-Buddhas! Their evil mission: to smash the world's most potent and democratic symbol of goodness and turn it into a harbinger of fear and hate ushering in a new world order of brutality, slavery, suffering, and death.

Cue the stirring music as the camera pulls back to reveal a back-lit Harrison Ford standing triumphant over the filthy racists. Drawls Ford, "You death cult scum, you're all the same. Now your bullshit charade is over. Auf wiedersehen anti-buddhas." The audiences cheer as the struck-from-the-same-mould Nazis and AshkeNazis cop their comeuppance: to run melancholy mad, awake to the horror of their own perversity. We then cut to a golden sun breaking through the clouds and follow the camera as it pans across to reveal monks, priests, and holy men from every nation on earth. We follow their gaze to see Indiana Jones standing in front of them as he restores the swastika seal to the ancient shrine. After Indy clasps his hands together and offers a silent prayer the crowd erupts, mobbing Indy and raising him to their shoulders.

Is that a what if? Ha, more like an as if, ha ha. Truth is, the latest reanimation of the Indiana Jones corpse was done for two broad memetic purposes: to awaken us all to the fact that Russians are 'it' again; and to pile in on the idea of unfriendly alien overlords (with a tip of the hat to the coming end-of-the-world destructo-palooza). We have been warned!

But to hell with the Crystal Skull. It's a figment of Hollywood's imagination as this is of mine. But one thing is true - between them, the two arms of the death cult turned the spookiest, most powerful symbol for good that ever existed into the world's most powerful symbol of hate. And that took some doing. It wasn't easy, with some very heavy juju going into the mix.


"Oh the humanity! Won't somebody save that poor swastika?" Sheesh! What's a feller to do? Me, I have no heavy juju. I just have a weeny blog with a couple hundred hits a day. But! I'm going to do my best. Here, I reclaim the happy little symbol for all those uncountable people across the millennia who used it entirely without malice and solely in a spirit of felicity. That uncorrupted swastika stood for a simple hope for a better future - no rancour, no superiority, and harm wished upon none. Given such selflessness it's no wonder it became the symbol of the Buddha stamped on every Japanese map.

I'm perfectly uninterested in what the twin pro and anti arms of the death cult have to say on the subject. No buts, I've heard it all before and I reject the message in its entirety. Here I embrace the simpleton ideal of one for all and all for one, albeit with all meaning all. Now, all stand for the anthem, Selflessness Uber Alles, ha ha ha.