Saturday, December 18, 2010

"But Mu-u-um! Jane's parents are letting her go to the Klerihoolapalooza!"


Paris Hilton is a fan. So is Miley Cyrus. Daniel Radcliffe says they're like the coolest thing ever. For those who don't know, we're talking about clerihews. Say the high priests of the time-honoured, gone-in-sixty-seconds oxymoron we call 'youth culture', clerihews are the next big thing. Frankly this is mixed news for lovers of clerihews: on the one hand there will be more of them; and on the other hand, every word will be spelt with the characters k, z, U, 8, and : )

Next year will see the massive Klerihoolapalooza!™ roadshow, Lady GaGa's clerihew CD I'm Kleri-me, Kleri-you, Kleri-who?, as well as the UN sponsored U2 ⚡ MKleriZOO world tour, a satire with the band as imaginary MKULTRA zombies tasked by their luciferian masters with the soundtrack for a genocidal new world order. And to cap it all off there's the much-anticipated cinema release of the all-clerihew Twilight - I Bight.

What with yours truly always being ahead of the grooviness curve, I thought the least I could do was give everyone a head start so that next time they talk to a teenager they may do so as shining, glib-tongued paragons of contemporaneity.

Robert Gordon Menzies
Was given to quiet frenzies.
The thought of the queen nude
Brought him quite unglued.



Henry Kissinger
Major hair singe huh?
But napalm is more explodier
When you drop it on Cambodia.



Henry Kissinger
Wasn't a cringer.
He felt no shame at all
At the Nobel Peace Prize Ball.



Richard Holbrooke
Liked to cook.
As a Kosher 'Carvier'
He carved up Yugoslavia.



Benjamin Netanyahu
Will die one day it's true.
Would it be poor of a chap to say
God speed that day?



Julian Assange
Won't use a sponge.
This seems to make the Swedish
Come over all knock-kneedish.



Helen Thomas
In hot hummus.
Doesn't she know it's an Israeli dish
Like gefilte fish?


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aahhh! Sir, you bring back memories.

I did but see her passing by,
and yet I love her till I die
Her mother surely would be in a bind
if she knew what went on in my mind

Sir Robert (deceased)

slozo said...

Destiny Hope "Miley" Cyrus nee Hannah Montana
Pole dancing ingenue eats a banana
Used and abused MK Ultra-style
When they've finished playing with her they'll kill her.

Paris Whitney Hilton
Had her fame built
She was born into a family stinking rich
Now she's a drug-addled prostitute bitch.

slozo said...

Last one should be, "had her fame built in" for the second line :)

john said...

nobody, there appears to be something wrong with my computer. It says you have 32 followers, which I'll refute sir. If correct information I wish to glean, I'll have to buy myself a new machine.

aferrismoon said...

Barack Obama
Sounds like Ehud
Which sounds like a gangster
Will they do any good

Julia Gillard
Was in like Bolt
When they forced Kev Rudd
To do a Harold Holt

Oddly Gillard was born in Barry in 1961 while Barry Obama was also born in 1961.

Boom year for non-native heads of state

The ADL
Think they're swell
While everyone else
Can go to hell

Nice idea for a post mate

cheers

Anonymous said...

Our hero's in black
Keep us safe from attack
Fighting students in wheelchairs
While the bankers eat eclairs



Victoria

Anonymous said...

Amy Goodman, Alex Jones and David Icke
Jesse Ventura and the fat Moore named Mike
They take the war crimes of evil Bushbama
And turn them into something resembling a llama.

Vic

su said...

winne the pooh
with not much hullabaloo
managed to extract honey
with absolutely no money.

Pstonie said...

All kids' hands to clerihewing
to take their minds off the jewing
Hitler was badly fooled
when the revolution got retooled.

su said...

Pstorie,

excellent.

kikz said...

happy solstice noby!

Anon said...

Amazing stuff in these blog posts! Wonderful.

- Aangirfan