Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Next on ABC - Media Watch Death Cult Love-Fest!

In wondering at that timeless question, What would I do if I were the producer of the ABC's Media Watch?, I decided that I would turn it into a panel show. And in true Tarantino pastiche style, I'd make it the best damn panel show ever. Thus, it would be a bit of everything: The Daily Show, The Chaser, Spicks and Specks, The Gruen Transfer, hell, we'll even throw My Word into the mix. Bugger it, let's get hell-bent and dig up the corpse of Frank Muir - even dead he'll beat the pants off just about anyone.


Apologies to foreigners who've never seen the above-mentioned programmes. Just take it as read that I'm talking about one of those whacky panel shows peopled with clever trousers trying to crack each other up. And in this case, we focus on certain unremarked-upon strands within the media and how they manifest themselves, and how they don't, and what it all means. Or doesn't mean.

And all in adulatory terms! Bravo the death cult! We think they're tops. Here at the Love-Fest, we say a tuppence for the death cult's shy modesty. If anyone in the world deserved celebrity status, it's the god-kings of the new world order. So here we'll give them the full treatment - graphics, footage, animation, sound effects, canned laughter - the full tilterama. [note to Sal - delete - It would be great if we could get some Chinese Opera in there somehow. No reason, I just like Chinese Opera. Do you know anyone?]

Don't worry if you don't understand a given gag. You don't want to understand it. Hell, I don't want to understand it. And often as not I don't. And that's half the fun. It's like the Pixies - knowing what all their songs mean precisely, would be a mistake. I call it the joy of not understanding. Black Francis gets it, I'm sure. Anyway, this is like that. Or at least, 'the vibe is in mind'. Thus, here's my sure-fire outline for a winner show, which is to say, the kind of show I want to watch. Each of the sketches could be weekly regulars or they may be one-offs. Nothing is rigid. The only rule is to get laughs and attack from sideways.

Good News from the Good War


We start the show with a somewhat solemn segment. The panel discusses the rightness of whatever war it is we're in and backs up the latest reason given for it. "At least it's all for a good cause" etc. Mind you, we don't want this to be too po-faced, so perhaps we break the ice a little (and keep things within traditional military bounds) by treating the week's TV montage of Good War News as one of those checklist drinking games.
- Skol (drink/down/chug/whatever) one drink for any depiction of Western soldiers as Good Samaritans who are only there to help people. Skol two for any soldier wondering why the locals aren't more appreciative of the help they're being given. Skol three for any soldiers guarding poppy fields.
- Skol one for every instance of locals who love the Americans and want them to stay. Skol two for local kids who've been blown up, taken to America, and think America is great. Skol three for any Muslim woman who fell in love with an American boy, rejected Islam, got married, emigrated, and now has a top-selling line of sexy lingerie exercise videos. (I just made that up - is it too silly? Probably not).
- Skol one for any Western Soldiers who've been blown up and are now 'helping to change people's lives by serving as an inspiration'. Skol two if they appear with the Prime Minister or President. And skol three if either of the latter get the bloke's name wrong.
- Skol one for the phrase 'moving forward'. Skol two for anyone explaining how we need to be there 'until the mission/job is completed/finished' whilst failing to mention what the mission/job is, or how we'd complete/finish it. Skol three for any use of the phrase, ironic or otherwise, 'there's light at the end of the tunnel'.

Optional Oblivion-Here-We-Come Speed Version
- Skol one for any Jewish talking head. Skol two for any Jewish talking head interviewing another Jewish talking head. Skol three for any report in which every talking head is Jewish. Double up if the topic is Muslim wickedness.
And so it goes with the show barely ten minutes in and the entire panel completely rat-arse drunk already.

The Reserve Bank Snark Hunt


Sobering quickly now, the panel searches for any sight of the Reserve Bank Snark. Not that anyone knows what the Snark is exactly since no one will say, but the panel does its best. Each week they trawl the media for any mention of it to see if we might add an ear, hoof, or tail to our sketchy picture. Included would be: sightings, habits, and behaviour of component board members; backwards engineering wherein we analyse the behaviour of politicians etc. who come into contact with the Snark, to see what clues that provides; a look at Snarks through history (with dead celebrity reporter-in-effigy Andrew Jackson); a look at the latest blurry viewer photos and videos of possible snarks; interviews with psychics, baristas, prostitutes etc. [Hey Sal - delete - Ideas for accompanying music: what's that music they play whenever there's a horse race? You know what I mean? Yeah, well... that]

Manny Goldstein's Fantasy Villain League


Here celebrity reporter Manny Goldstein takes the panel through the week's action and answers the perennial (and rather proper) question, 'At whom should we be shaking our collective fist this week?' Panel members (along with viewers) can swap and trade players in their fantasy villain league with Manny providing the latest tips - precise details of foreign corruption, foreign wickedness, foreign mistreatment of women, execution by swords, stones, and other means of death that Westerners don't use, mass graves, mass starvation, as well as a quick summary of villains' bad hair, clothes, shoes, etc.

And we can all play safe in the knowledge that none of it has anything to do with us and they've only themselves to blame. Each week the prize will snowball until one lucky viewer hits the jackpot when we find out which of our villains was so evil that we had no choice but to steal his nation's shit and turn what was left into a radioactive wasteland. It's lots of fun and completely harmless. NB. Apart from the jackpot prize (which could be as much as a hundred dollars), the top player is also guaranteed a starting place in the CFR-Trilateral-Bilderberger Pro-Am Circuit.

Conspiracy Nutbar Crunchfest


Wherein the media's best derisory use of the phrase 'conspiracy theory' provides an opportunity for the panel to pile in and kick the shit out of the mad idea, as well as the tin-foil hat wearing loony who uttered it. This can be presented as a point scoring buzzer game with the panel given a list of set responses ('That's just crazy', 'He'll be talking about UFO's next', 'Anti-Semitism!', 'They would never do it', 'That's just crazy', etc), then upon hearing various 'facts' put forward by the loony, the panel members hit their buzzer to be first with the right set response (extra points for eye-rolling, head-shaking, and 'snorting'). The segment ends with the Forget-Me-Hot-List which is an easy to remember list of things one should forget. This, so as to more correctly view the week's particular crazy conspiracy theory, ie. for flight 93:
-There was no wreckage at the Shanksville site, nothing, not a sausage.
-The 'scar' in the earth was always there and was unconnected to the crash.
-Sundry non-spook witnesses describe an entirely separate and different event taking place miles away.
All of the footage would be accompanied by a laugh track featuring audience jeers, catcalls, and cries of 'That's just crazy!'

Three Cheers For Israel


This segment always begins with the traditional cry of "Three Cheers For Israel! Hip, Hip..." which is always always met with the traditional embarassed silence and slight cough from the back of the audience [note to Sal *please delete* - when we're in audio, perhaps we could sneak in a quietly muttered 'yeah, get fucked', so quiet that only we know it's there, you know what I mean? no harm in trying]. This segment has two parts - Kowtow of the Week and The Mark Regev Fan Club.

Kowtow of the Week


In which the panel picks the week's best kowtow to Israel, whether from a politician, interviewer, or news report. In the same way that The Gruen Transfer extols the virtues of selling the indefensible, The Death Cult Love-Fest ever seeks to more fulsomely laud the fulsome lauding of the world's shittiest country. The various brilliant means of doing this are discussed and praised. Of course in order to bring a sense of 'balance' the panel will occasionally offer critical tips as to how a kowtower might improve their performance and otherwise be more effective. The running-joke catch-cry: Know No Shame!

Mark Regev Fan Club


A special place for all the Mark Regev fans out there. There's no one quite like him is there? The panel variously: waxes rhapsodic about Mark's latest media appearance; admires his hair, clothes, and shoes; judges the best stories and art work sent in by the viewers; screens the latest episode of our regular FANimation™ The Adventures of Lego Mark Regev in which we see Mark have various fan-imagined Lego adventures with the fan doing their best Mark voice-over impersonation - which of course will explain the rightness of whatever our little Lego Mark is doing. Other ideas: The 'Cook Mark a Meal' Recipe Club wherein fans send in recipes that Mark might like and the panel cooks them and discusses how 'Mark' they are; Video Karaoke Singalong - send your favourite love song to Mark whilst watching the burning of Gaza and Lebanon; and various hot discussions from the website forum, If Mark Regev were Doc Ock, would he beat Spider-Man?, and the hugely popular Funny Vid! Dude lights fart while Mark Regev is on TV, and Captain_boinging is a FUCKTARD - I happen TO KNOW THat MARK REGEV bought THRILLER and LIKED IT!!!!!!!! MICHAEL JACKSON is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! etc. etc. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. We just put his fat head on the screen weekly, rip the living shit out of him, make him an object of complete ridicule, and all without ever quite giving him anything to sue us over. Easy.

Give Us A Wink, Rupes!


Here the panel contributes what they consider to be the best media racist wink of the week. The winner is whichever story maxes out the audience's famous Something-From-Nothing-Clap-O-Meter, as adjusted by the Duckworth-Lewis value S/N (where S = something, ie. racist mileage, and N = nothing, ie. How the most common name in the world Li/Lee is also the most common name topping university entrance scores. Wow, that just goes to show doesn't it? Anyway, you multiply that by the number you first thought of and you get a funny score). Three cheers! Speaking of scores, our guest celebrity Ezra Pound is currently in the lead with 17 points in spite of not having uttered a single word. As you can see, Ezra is there to balance Frank Muir and is, like Frank, 'no longer quick'. So, what with him lacking Frank Muir's sound-bite library, we came up with the idea of cutting up The Cantos into single sentences, putting them all in a hat, and then picking one out randomly in answer to each question. Spookily enough he absolutely nailed it every time. A big hand for Ezra! Yay!

King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick


What with the panel being a pack of smart-arses who'd like to make a lot of money without working very hard, there isn't one of them who wouldn't love some kind of semi-permanent celebrity spot with the death cult. It's all very well being in at the bloody ABC but the money is dead ordinary and there's no hookers, no drugs, no nothing. Anyway, in honour of their own desire for money (and drug-fueled mad rooting) each week the members of the panel do their best to win the coveted title King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick. In this competition, panel members take their weekly turn to make a pitch to the death cult outlining the genius plan they've come up with for installing them as god-kings of the new world order complete with hot and cold running sex slaves (hallowed be their names) (the god-kings, not the sex slaves). You can see why a fellow would want to dig up Frank Muir, couldn't you? He'd have made the perfect first King of the Death Cult Crawly Bum Lick.

End of Year Special


This is our annual end of the year lollapalooza drone-fest special. As a way of doing the obligatory that-was-the-year-that-was round-up thingy, we go with the obvious awards gag. The awards will come in two categories: funny ones we just made up to match the funny footage; and proper annual awards that we actually have to think of winners for. The latter categories might include - Best Arse, Best Fathead, Best Transparently Obvious Lie, Best Give-The-Game-Away, Biggest Shut-The-Fuck-Up, Best Slut, Best Insult To Our Intelligence, Best Mind Control Zombie, Best Bragging, Best Blame The Victim, and finally the top award, the hallowed Best And Biggest Big Lie.

This last award goes to the person in the world least afraid of irony, hypocrisy, or shame, with more chutzpah than God, a bold person who's prepared to embrace the perversity of taking a leaf out of Adolf Hitler's Big Lie playbook, and who, in testimony to their own brilliance, goes Hitler one better and doesn't idiotically explain how the Big Lie works before they do it - pauses, looks to camera - Instead they 'Just Do It', and they don't even have to pay Nike for the privilege. And sure enough, in fine who-was-that-masked-man style, they slip off into obscurity hoping that nobody noticed. Ever self-effacing, the Death Cult.

---

Self-effacing gentlemen and scholars! Rare geniuses and saints! Well, it just so happens that nobody did notice: they noticed, they took inspiration, and may I say that I hope the death cult funding board grabs this opportunity to pick up this sure-fire TV comedy hit, safe in the knowledge that with the proper monetary backing it can be burned in effigy, thrown into the ocean from a helicopter, or just left here on this blog (whichever gets the least attention). Honestly Death Cult, this thing sells itself! You'd be mad not to pay the very low price!

Cue audience applause! Yay!

48 comments:

dublinmick said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME_NpnH7jDc&feature=player_embedded

Anonymous said...

FB

Be very careful of what you wish for Mr Nobs, the Ecumenical Liberation Army is still out there and the Great Ahmed Khan was never caught. Not only that, Diana is as shrill as ever. But don’t mind me, good luck with the project ;-)

Penny said...

I stopped cold at the Mark Regev fan club, the picture, his face surrounded by hearts....

What usually symbolizes love and that man.
I will have to come back once I have regurgitated my lunch, and possibly breakfast.

Barf!

This is where it would be fun to have a barfing emoticon..

Penny said...

:-C~

the memory hole said...

That was fabulous. The stupid human earth monkeys get everything they deserve.

nobody said...

An eyes right.
A smily winky face.
A threat of vomit.
An actual vomit.
A thumbs up.

All I know is that I thought it was funny. Well, as funny as a thing can be without the phrase 'trousers round his ankles' in it. Never mind, next time I'll make sure it's in there.

slozo said...

That was brutal, comedic genius.

This is what you are best at, ascerbic wit and farce and commentary and shrewd observation all rolled into one.

Two thumbs up.

ps. I also thought it was damn funny

Anonymous said...

FB

So did I, I second Slozo.

weiner dog said...

It was great without a doubt. I love snarky humor that points up human foibles and rubs peoples face in shit like a bad dog that crapped in the den.

Anonymous said...

lies and the truths
backwards and forwards
easy and hard
fire and waters
earth and the sky
a scent of the rain
touch of a shine
charged on a ray
inside of outside
south to the east
west of the north point
floating on breeze
warming of cold
low to a climbing
flow of the rivers
living in rising
lift of a feather
wonder and blow
notes of the ground
sound of rainbow
weaving a medicine
wandering beams
on shades of the slumber
of sleep through the dreams

..peace..

Anonymous said...

nobody good stuff as usual,I tried to do a poem more on what your post was about,but it just went that way,so I just left it.sorry
..peace neil

nobody said...

Thanks Neil, very nice. It might be a bit minimalist but have you not ever had a go at the haiku blog? You'd be just the chap for it I'd have thought. The link is on the front page if you're interested.

Cheers Slozo, FB, and Weiner Dog, lovely to have you pop in.

Speaking of which, there were tons of great comments for the last piece but I was pretty much absent for all of them. Anyway, I'll pop over there and say hello.

Hmm... it seems someone's put me in for WRH again. It's the ever popular Burn in Hell you deniers of the Holocausts gag. It's good to be back at WRH with its insane thousands-of-hits-a-day but it does tend to blow my free limited-to-a-cache-of-500 statcounter account out of the water. Still one mustn't complain...

kikz said...

standin O!


:D

Frank said...

Nobody,

No time to read much since (insert dumbfunny term for WTSHTF) but you are still the best graphics blogger I know of. Great pics, takes our minds right out of Kansas where it's too fukking HOT now anyway.

Greg Bacon said...

You have a wicked sense of humor, one that I like.

Maybe you could start up some kind of comedy show, like the old "Monty Python's Flying Circus" that would hit people right between the eyes with the absurdities of all those Zionist fables we've been brainwashed to believe.

Only trouble is, I fear your production would never make it to the MSM, as it would offend certain immigrants from Khazaristan and you'd always be one step ahead of an arrest warrant for blasphemy an just plain being too 'uppity.'

Can't have intelligent DNA like yours polluting the cud chewing GOY cattle.

That's one thing they fear, people with balls who are brave enough to tell the truths that have been declared VERBOTEN.

Keep up the good work, we still might be able to escape slavery.

Anon said...

Cue audience applause! Yay!

- Aangirfan

dublinmick said...

It has come to my attention we have a vicious battle going on between the CroMagnons and the Neanderthals.

Listen up CroMagnon Ingrates

http://dublinmick.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/listen-up-cromagnon-ingrates/

slozo said...

I don't get it DublinMick, and I don't mean to pick on you (I threw a comment his way at aangirfan's), but you beg these questions . . .

1) If, as you contend, the jews are largely comprised of NON-SEMITIC peoples (you throw a shout-out on your site to authors that reiterate this), how can the common genetic thread that binds them be that they are Nenderthals, and that all semitic jews come from the Neanderthal 'race'? Specifically since they are no more a race than Christians are, or Romans were.

2) Why do you constantly hammer away at your theory on blogs like this, when you don't even link to Church of Nobody?

3) Why does this theory of Cro-magnons versus Neanderthals eerily fit into a combative paradigm, one that the PTB is always trying to get us into, while also perpetuating what I take to be the myth of being genetically born either evil/good? You know, us versus them mentality, but genetically linked (even when faced with the cognitive dissonance of point 1)?

Dublin Mick said...

First of all I do link to church of nobody. I have for a long time. The list on the side bar of Campfire is rather long however. Secondly as to the piece itself, we know Khazars of the Caucasus were migrating into the middle east years ago and were called Edomites. They did seize the cultural mechanisms from Semitic people of the area. (Babylonian monetary system)Those who are now called Palestinians converted long ago. Palestinians are part Scythian (Irish) Syrian and other groups. I doubt with very little Khazar genetic makeup.

Other groups in the area, I am not sure.

He suggests 70% of the genes of Semitic people are of neanderthal origin "in some studies", which of course is speculative. I think it would be more accurate to suggest there is a high percentage of these type genes in people who "call themselves" Semites and are not. That being Khazars who were almost extinguished in wars against Cromagnons and were routed by Genghis Khan.

I think it is safe to say those who control the levers of power are indeed neanderthal, wouldn't you?

Dublin Mick said...

Come on Slozo where are you at guy? I am grinning here because there must be somebody out there a bit like me. Whenever I hear "I am a Jew and I am here to help you" my meter redlines also!

That is a long article and the guy is selling a book. There is some fluff in it, and nothing that long everybody is going to agree on every point on, such as Obama's health plan is going to help us!

The point I was looking at is there does seem a group in that area which has spread out and does have somewhat of a "reptilian" mind set if you will, and wherever they have ended up has caused problems. Surely we can agree on that.

I not only am linked to Nobody I have had his article on Pilger Chavez M-Astera pinned at the top on breaking news (both blogs) for some time because I have felt the same way, just never said much in the interests of tranquility.

Anonymous said...

I know The Milky Bar Kid would be proud of this photo Nobes, as I am and I am sure you are too.
What an election 2010
How can a Nation such as Australia be so equally - it's almost unbelievable??

Tony

Anonymous said...

that last should read
How can a Nation such as Australia be so equally divided- it's almost unbelievable??
Tony

slozo said...

@ DublinMick:

Fair enough I suppose, and a good response. Curious about you linking to Nobody, I looked all through it a few times, but must have missed it.

"reptilian" mindset? Like, David Icke reptilian, or a midset which is perceived to be cold and calculating and predatory? I do hope if it's the latter you realise the implications among "our" crowd of saying such an adjective . . . and what belief systems are attached to it?

Maybe I am too nitpicky, but all I have to go on is the written word here, folks.

Bottom line - I find the true movers and shakers have no real semitic bloodline at all - just an old european one, intertwined with royalty. Name me some "ptb" with semitic bloodlines - REAL semitic bloodlines - and you may start convincing me.

The jump to Neanderthals is a stretch, however, and the whole paradigm like I mentioned before smacks of PTB puppetry, while instilling the idea of good/bad bloodlines.

gallier2 said...

@slozo

sefaradis are of semitic lignage (not that that they claim to have, I come to,it in a second). Granted they don't have the clout of there eastern counterparts but in France they are big cheese (Sarkozy's from his mothers side is one for example).

To the lineage, in the same vein as ashkenazim claim to be errand Philistines but are convert Khazars, sefaradis are 10th, 11th century Kabyle converts. Contrary to actual narratives, rabbis at that time were active prosletizers and converted a lot of people. (source: Marc Ferro - Les tabous de l'histoire - http://livre.fnac.com/a1279150/Marc-Ferro-Les-tabous-de-l-histoire?Fr=0&To=0&Nu=9&from=1&Mn=-1&Ra=-1)

gallier2 said...

and Kabyles are semitic, forgot that little detail in my comment above.

dublinmick said...

No offense taken Slozo and no I am not saying they are running around shape shifting. I am talking about the mind set of always being on the attack kind of like a caveman with a club except now they have weapons nobody probably knows about yet.

I not saying everybody in the mideast is a neanderthal either, but it is probably safe to say the khazars left some homeboys behind. The articles in reality only talks about pockets of them here and there with a high percentage.

It is a fascinating concept however of two different species in opposition to each other, one more violent than the other and hybrids of each spreading out. I have to tell you the doberman pincer is said to be hyper due to the plane of the forehead that squeezes the brain.

It is also true that in Israel the ashkenazis took sephardic kids out of class and subjected them to massive xrays of the heads leading to cancer and all types of health problems. That is an actual fact. It shows right there a willingness to dominate them also.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Nobody,...Tried commenting a few days ago and I notice it didn't come up. I had issues with having to try again and again, however, it kept resolving to a diagnosis page; I thought I had it worked out eventually. No biggy, just a response to Hellene's 4 parter.

cheers

veritas

Anonymous said...

FB

Plane of the head squeezing the brain huh. Maybe that explains why they all have big noses; the squeezed bit has to go somewhere'-)

dublinmick said...

This was left on comments via listen up cromagnon ingrates. Must see

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ySiOITYyZE&feature=player_embedded#!

bholanath said...

nobody -
just fucking awesome!
big respects

wv- propho
professional mofo

Dublin Mick said...

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/214284-Have-BP-and-the-US-Psychopathic-Government-Perpetrated-Yet-Another-Fraud-Against-We-the-People-


Dr. Tom Termotto, BCIM, National Coordinator for the Gulf Oil Spill Remediation Conference ( International Citizens´ Initiative) in Tallahassee, Florida, has written an extremely interesting and important Press release in regard to BP and the US government and their role in "perpetrating yet another fraud against we the people?", and furthermore brings to our attention the diagrams of the sinking of the Deepwater Horizon (Macondo Prospect) proposed by B.K. Lim and what they represent concerning the Well in question and BP narrative. I strongly recommend that everyone reads it quite diligently:

nobody said...

Hello Boys and Girls,

Sorry I've been off again. There's no cause for worry - it's just me establishing myself as 'mysterious'. Or unreliable... it's one of them, anyway.

Speaking of which (ahem, PG this is you mate), the phrase-du-jour is "more than ten days old" which can be found at the top of this page in the discussion of comment moderation. So - PG, there you go. No need for alarm, and things are functioning as they should. Unlike yours truly who is not only inconstant, but inconstantly inconstant.

Ayah, I shall write something sooner or later, I'm sure.

Otherwise, thanx Kikz. Thanx Frank (I'm glad you noticed since insane amounts of time go into fiddling around with the pix). Onya Greg. And onya Aangirfan (the master of the least words doing the most work). And Tony, Slozo, Gallier, and Mick. And thanks Bholanath. You have a blog mate? About time too. I always liked your gear over at Les'.

Off I go now back into the wild blue inconstancy. There's half a dozen unfinished pieces on the desktop and surely one of them can be turned into something. Ciao Ciao.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Nobody,..Doh! Now let me see, mmm, oh, mmm, uhuh, yep, righty-o then. Got it.

You know, once I did a test for some job or promotion or some such, many moons ago. The header on the top of the page said that we were to read the header then place our pencils down until further instructions. It then went on to say that the test MUST be completed inside the allotted 28 minutes (go figure) and not a moment longer. I must admit I was quaking with indecision for thet entire half an hour we were left alone; my arms crossed in self-restraint I was beside myself with doubt. At the end of all the furious scribbling in the room the other testees(grin) were exhausted and quite smug. My lack of effort had not gone un-noticed. I was also the only person that passed the test. Coooeee!

I remember now, it was a pre-course examination for a ‘subject course’ with the military intelligence corps. Hah ha, that old oxymoron eh?

I have lost my edge dear Nobby; seh seh Touchwood, nuthin’ werks,.. nuthin’ werks...(Touchwood was his toad).

See ya,

veritas

Dublin Mick said...

Four lions of the desert

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/08/28/gordon-duf f-veterans-today-releases-secret-al-qaeda-training -tape/

“DOWNLOADED FROM THE INTERNET” LIKE SITE INTELLIGENCE DOES
By Gordon Duff STAFF WRITER/Senior Editor


Just in time for the 9/11 “celebrations” in New York, the “idiotfests” prostesting the Fox News financed “terror mosque” or the “save the Constitution” rallies for the “bring back slavery” white supremist crowd, also financed by more Israeli-Americans tied to American fascism, this video mysteriously appears. We didn’t get it from the Mossad or the CIA. Friends from Afghanistan sent the link to me last night via their secret server in the caves near Tora Bora. (They work for the United Nations….I think they are studing the mating habits of bats.)
The link led me to a secret Jihadist site even the Israeli’s, always finding Osama bin Ladens at the most convenient times, couldn’t locate.


Veterans Today, one of the world’s most respected sources for intelligence and analysis, is now, finally, ready to go to congress and ask for millions of dollars in subsidies to feed Islamophobia and the continued insanity in Afghanistan.
With an editorial and writing staff that has a combined 2500 years of military service, 500 years with intelligence agencies around the world, speaking 56 languages (writing only 2), with staff members on terrorist watch lists from 27 governments including, not only the United States but Uganda, Poland, Latvia and Andorra, few organizations can approach our capabilities.
I am packing my bags today, ready to head to Washington to brief Congress and sign contracts to find more of the same. Ain’t America grand?

YouTube - Veterans Today -

Never before seen film, Four Lions Of The Desert Official Trailer

nobody said...

Hullo Boys and Girls,

I'm still alive and still tapping away, albeit in no useful fashion (that applies to both, ha ha).

The following go-nowhere pieces are sitting on my desktop:

who we voted for

isms and other created narratives

abandoning the continuum

the falseness of everything

the mission of the ascetic

the case for paedophilia

nobody's guide to Australian birdlife

Yawn. God knows if anything will come of them. Meanwhile, the reason I haven't been here is because I haven't even bothered logging on. At all. I hadn't even checked my emails.

Apart from laziness I have a good excuse - I picked up a near complete collection of Stephen Chow DVD's and I installed wikipedia on my hard drive.

Oh! Library's closing, have to go. Ciao ciao. n.

nobody said...

Oh that's weird. There was a comment from somebody a little while ago (sorry, can't remember who) saying they voted for one of the above. I clicked 'approve' and expected it to be here but... it ain't. Sorry whoever that was.

Anyway, I'm back after having recuperated from a momentary bout of the marthambles, and I'm working my way towards writing about something. God knows why but Sacha Baron Cohen popped into my head. And it wasn't pretty neither. So, I'll either write about that or something else. Yoroshiku.

slozo said...

T'was I, and I voted for the isms thing.

But writing about Sacha the Baron "jews are victims and yet somehow your leaders at the same time" Cohen would be fine as well.

btw, we miss ya! Hope the layoff has been restful.

nobody said...

Hey Slozo,

I'm slowly getting there. I've half written a thing and it should go up shortly. I shan't say what it is since that seems a surefire way to ensure it never gets finished.

Otherwise, I'm in the middle of rearranging things, which is to say furniture. Up until now, what with me figuring the old man would be dead any minute, I couldn't see the point in buying anything and so I've pretty much been living out of a suitcase. But here we are four years later with no reason to suppose I mightn't be here for another four years God help me.

Anyway up until now, the only place to write has been in front of the TV. In the beginning that usedn't to bother but now it drives me absolutely batshit. So, I'm going to buy a wee table and seat and then I can write in my bedroom. Hopefully that should make a difference and have me writing a bit more.

ciao ciao

su said...

get off your arse nobs - i sense brilliance in the brewing.

nobody said...

Hey Su,

But that's the problem with recipes you see, especially ones that involve brewing: they're as likely to be crap as they are something drinkable.

I've been dicking around, writing something, throwing it out, and then repeating those three steps for weeks now. And I'm getting it down pat now. The problem is that I'm so pretty, oh so pretty, pretty vay-cunt. (I know that the pistols didn't say 'cunt' but really they did. I mean honestly, it was bloody obvious). Anyway, that's me. There's no thoughts in my head, or none that are useful that is.

Perhaps the steam has gone out of my sails? A real tragedy for someone as given to mixed metaphors as I am. What I need to do is look that gift horse straight in the mouth, get back up on him, and ride him all the way home, wee wee wee weeee, kind of thing.

How about them miners huh? God I love that story. Hmm... I just wrote a couple hundred words here about them and it struck me that perhaps i should whack it on the front page.

nobody said...

Okay, as statcounter oddities go this is messy. Hmm... maybe I can make the key bits bold so it becomes a bit clearer.

Long and short: Executive Office Of The Governor / Tallahassee Florida / Brice Taylor Thanks For The Memories.

---

Executive Office Of The Governor (204.115.188.46) [Label IP Address]

Tallahassee, Florida, United States, 0 returning visits


Date Time Type WebPage

14th October 2010 21:54:56 Page View

www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MwACklcy3xc/S
lLMKFeSrkI/AAAAAAAAAxE/dgJoI1yLzZ0/s400/
thanks_for_the_memories.jpg&imgrefurl=
http://churchofnobody.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_
archive.html&usg=__IBbGZJ7QzdEKIwCCyipp2Fezw
uk=&h=400&w=
churchofnobody.blogspot.com/
2009_07_01_archive.html


---

The problems with any arrival tagged "www.google.com/imgres" is that I have no idea what their search subject was. But it doesn't matter. They couldn't have arrived at Brice Taylor by accident. Someone in the Florida Governor's office knows who Brice Taylor is and was looking for a pic of her book.

nobody said...

PS There I was about to write something glowing about the Chilean Miner's thing when a momentary niggle kicked in and I decided to hold off. I thought that before I declare this a story as something unsullied by the death cult's filthy hands I'd wait and see if there wasn't some shake-out connected to it. Thank you John Pilger.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Nobody,... That is exactly the feeling I got over the past weeks whenever anyone started to get all gooey over the 'trapped' miners.

The chilean Mines are privately owned and managed and apart from the chinese Mines they are as deadly as it gets.

You know they wheeled out those two guys that they 'trapped' in Tassie a couple of years ago to Australianize the whole made-for-TV-event (TV = Talmud Vision) in Chile. That Tassie thing was a staged event, truly, they apparently could have released them way sooner, but no, let's make a fucking meal out of it while there isn't a Big Brother series on air or some 'Survivor b-list celebrity' series on the Box to hypnotise the sheeple.

I bet you my first Army pension cheque that those fat Miners (did you notice how fucking fat ALL those Miners were after living like rats on ‘hard rats’ for two months!) got paid a huge fee (10 thousand pesos is a lot of dough in a country where a bottle of tequila is only 50 cents more than a blow-job) to sit it out down there: Now they are all ooohhing and ahhhing at the "incredibly" good condition of the miners: K.M.A - Kiss My Arse, what a con.

veritas

PS; have you read 'Heroes' I read the first print edition in '86, that guy can write, that book changed my life, that book and a few others are what inspired me to become a journalist; 'Sideshow', By Willliam Shawcross, also 'The quality of Mercy' by Shawcross, 'At The Barricades' by Wilfred Burchett and 'Goodbye to All That' by Robert Graves. 'How Dear is Life', by Henry Williamson.

I would encourage you to read any of these Titles that you have not already.

Hah, I don't normally do the 'word ver' thing but, given Slozos comment check this out: ismshi

Cheers mate, PeeGee.

nobody said...

Onya PG, I think I've read nearly everything of Pilger's but those sound good. Oh look, I'm in a library. Why don't I see if they're here?

And Su, I have a feeling you meant to post your comment here rather that in that piece from last month, yeah? I cut and paste thus -

su said...
thought this article said it well and would interest you.
http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php/site/article/9785/

And yeah, that was a top read - the miners telling the shrinks to stick it up their arse, ha ha. Three cheers for the real world. Nice one mate.

nobody said...

Thanks Su, that sounds good but you forgot the address mate. Did you want to go again?

nobody said...

Thanks Su, saved to desktop. Otherwise, the king of sobriety me. How dull.

su said...

http://joana-morais.blogspot.com/2010/10/lisbon-appeals-court-ruling.html#comments

different tangent. forgive me.
nobody - justice seems to be flowering in portugal -
england quakes.
nothing in british press whatsoever.
total silence.


word - expra

nobody said...

Hullo Su, did you mean to post on the most recent piece? I slung your comment there.