Thursday, April 24, 2008
in which the leader of the Red Team wigs out and gives the game away
Never mind the Department of Homeland Security. The spooks are all over this blog like flies on stink. There's tons of 'em - various army.mil, navy.mil and even my own aph.gov.au. And these are just the ones that don't hide their identity. They either don't care if I know that they're visiting or they want me to know. Either way, I'm bloody spooked. So much so that I've wigged out and shall now spill the beans in an effort to save my skin.
I confess - I am the famous Leader of the Red Team. My mission is to destroy the United States of America. I will now lay down my plan as a testament to my self-impressed genius.
My plan is simple. It consists of two strands. I shall take control of the US money supply and the US media. With the money supply I shall control the economy and impoverish the people. With the media I shall ensure that my otherwise nonsensical 'monetary policy' is seen as an act of God. And as ever, fear will be the key.
Control of the money supply
First I shall establish a privately owned Central Bank. Certainly I shall confuse people by declaring myself 'Federal'. But this will be a ruse. I will be as 'Federal' as Fedex.
I shall achieve this coup by way of threats, bribes and blackmail. Since this bank will be in no one's interest but my own I shall operate in secrecy and have the legislation passed during the Winter recess with no one present in the congress. With this done, every American note in circulation will not be the property of the people of the US but will instead be mine and the government will have to 'borrow' it from me.
The people of America will then pay me interest for the pieces of paper I printed for the cost of the paper and ink. To pay this interest I shall force the members of Congress to introduce income tax, every penny of which will go to me. I shall impoverish the entire population of America. Can you imagine such a thing? To add insult to injury, I shall also demand collateral for these loans. The gold in Fort Knox shall be mine. If you looked up 'chutzpah' in the dictionary there is a picture of me there.
As if this wasn't enough, I shall also dictate monetary policy. The government can have Fiscal Policy. Who needs it? Like I care how crummy American roads, bridges, and hospitals are. Ha ha ha - my brief is to destroy America remember? Monetary policy is all about debt. With control of the media I shall convince Americans that debt is good and that everyone can all live like kings with new Eezy Kredit. But it's a fool's errand. Once they're in debt I will own them. A man in debt is as good as a slave. I know this sounds unlikely but you'll have to take my word for it. I'll sum it up by saying, debt equals fear, and fear is the key.
Control of the media
Me, I shall fear nothing except exposure. To this end, I shall, using my unlimited funds, control the media. The media will talk about everything but my ownership of the money supply and my ownership of the media. Don't think I won't be able to do this. I shall make such utterances the single greatest crime there is.
Certainly this silence will be crucial. But the media is capable of much more than this. Most people know nothing beyond what the media tells them. With control of the media I can point all those who might oppose me in every direction except mine. They will chase all manner of idiotic chimeras. People who haven't a snowball's chance in hell of harming America will be painted as terrible devils deserving of tremendous outlays of American blood and treasure. Madly, patriots will chase everyone from penniless, illiterate peasants in the most god-forsaken hell-holes to penniless but perfectly literate nobodies in tourist beach towns (ahem). They will attack everyone but ME, the man responsible for their impoverishment and the destruction of their country.
But even that will not be enough for me - I'm here to destroy America, so why would I wish for its people to live in peace and harmony? Racial disharmony will be first. It's as easy as a dog-whistle. Only one racial group will be immune. Mine! And that's just for starters. I shall convince American youth they are smarter than their parents and thus tear families apart. I shall promote a dog-eat-dog attitude ensuring that American society is centrifugal. I will crush community and fellow-feeling and everything that was good. Americans will know only selfishness and fear.
So! There you are! I've given the whole game away. Now it's the Blue Team's turn. It's your job to save the United States of America from the Red Team. What's your plan?