North Korea, Fiji, Thailand - The Absentometer™ Goes Berserk

North Korea - Villains! As proof of their murderousness, they have provocatively fired a long range 'missile'. The bloc-media sings a single song of righteous indignation. Three nights running now the TV has hosted a parade of Western leaders, commentators, academics, and think-tank types who have described in detail why we must strengthen and protract North Korea's misery, suffering, and starvation. The North Koreans bring it upon themselves, you see.

And what do the North Koreans have to say about this 'missile'? Not that we're interested of course, but it's some nonsense about 'launching a satellite'. Pah! What a crummy lie! The West laughs at such nonsense. A lie so easy to disprove! What idiots! Cut to President Obama saying that their talk of a satellite is a lie and demonstrably so. Cut to a NASA representative saying how the US tracks thousands of orbiting objects and doesn't miss a thing. Cut to satellite tracking expert sitting at his computer with the screen clearly demonstrating the non-existence of this satellite. Cut back to smarmy newsreader shaking his talking head at the pathetic nature of North Korean lying.


Wait a minute! What's the annoying beeping noise? Oh look, it's my patented Absentometer™ going berserk. Impossibly, it seems that none of the above happened. In a very busy discussion of the whole North Korean 'missile' caper, not a single person did the beyond-obvious thing and declare that there was no satellite. Go figure. For three nights running now, I've been yelling at the television, 'Is there a satellite or not?' and no one wants to answer the question. That it could be answered is beyond certainty. In terms of argument it's a no-brainer. If there was no satellite, they'd say so, loudly and repeatedly.

That the powers in the West have failed to address the single most obvious, lay-down misere argument-winner can mean only one thing - the Koreans did launch a satellite. We may not acknowledge this since being able to launch a satellite is no crime at all. We launch them all the time and no one bats an eyelid. In fact, when Australia launched its first we all celebrated and Australia Post printed a special commemorative stamp.

Bugger satellites and bugger every other reason given why we must hate North Korea. The true reason must not be uttered - North Korea does not have a privately owned money supply. Subsequently, annihilation is to be their lot. And we in the West, the un-ironic, 'freedom-defending' debt-peons of the banking families are to be the agents of their annihilation. Yeah well, three cheers for us.

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Fiji - Villains! What have they done now? It seems that the Fijian military refused to obey the Fijian Court of Appeal's order that they hand over power. The military are fascists and racists. The military of course is entirely indigenous Melanesian. The Supreme Court is almost entirely Indian and expat whites. The military, as an expression of the Melanesian discontent, seem to have some mad objection to: the government, the judiciary, banking, business, and the media all being in the hands of ethnic Indians and non-Melanesians. Obvious racists! And as we all know, there's only one type of racism - that of the majority who object to a distinct minority who perpetually seems uninterested in inter-marrying, or otherwise having anything to do with the majority apart from taking their money.

And now Commodore Frank Bainimarama, the leader of Fiji's military, has gone one step too far. He's thrown out whomever it was that ran Fiji's Reserve Bank. Good God! He's really done it now hasn't he? The media, sure enough, interviews everyone with a tale to tell. Pay no attention to the fact that they're all non-Melanesian. Look, there's Sean Dorney, long-time (and curiously spotty) foreign correspondent, explaining how the complete absence of anyone protesting, or hitting the streets, or any other thing, is proof of the totality of the military's grip, and also of the climate of fear that they've instilled in the entire population. Of course, had people hit the streets and protested that would have been proof of the unpopularity of the military. Don't flip that coin! Sean Dorney has spoken.


But never mind the expats, what does Bainimarama have to say on the matter? Oh-oh, is that my Absentometer™ going nuts again? God, that's annoying. In amongst all of this, we didn't hear a single word from Bainimarama. Perhaps he has some crazy wooly-bully superstition that a camera will capture his soul? Or maybe he's shy? Or maybe we are? Not us! As if the media would be shy of hosting a discussion of the nature of Reserve Banking. The fact that they've never had one before, not ever, is, I don't know... a fluke or something. Ha ha ha ha, but seriously, I'll bet money that the reason Bainimarama isn't on the telly explaining his actions against the Reserve Bank is because he'd make far too much sense and might even have us wondering about our own Reserve. What do you think? Hmm... best we not go there.

Metaphorically, that is. Physically, we WILL go there. Now that Bainimarama has kicked out the bankers, I'll lay odds that Australian troops will be in Fiji sooner rather than later. I've no idea how this will be brought about, but some means of Bainimarama's forced ejection is a cold, hard certainty. I wonder if we could pull off a Fijian version of Alfredo Reinado? That worked a treat in East Timor. The script rolled out like clockwork with helpful, freedom-loving Australian troops hitting the ground to deliver to the Timorese people peace, love, and a clear understanding that the gas fields just offshore actually belonged to Australia. Australia! International good guys!

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Thailand - Villains! Or heroes! Ayah, this is so confusing. Who's who, here? Two colour-coded revolutions. The first was clearly a George Soros style effort. It had yellow t-shirts, yellow flags, and free yellow pop concerts. Absurdly, the police and military were happy to let them occupy Bangkok airport. Don't they know there's a War!On!Terror! with airports as the front line? It seems that those nice yellow people broke their hearts (unlike those Burmese refugees whom they towed out to sea to starve to death). Sure enough the yellow people were media darlings.

Like all the other well-organised colour-coded revolutions, this was an expression of the people's will. They were sick and tired of Thaksin Shinawatra's party who wickedly kept winning elections and were otherwise popular with the poor majority of Thailand's population. God knows what was up with this so-called 'majority'. What's that? Universal healthcare? Perhaps they're commies?



And now there's another colour-coded revolution. Red this time! Did somebody say commies, just now? But where's the picnic atmosphere? Where are the pop concerts and free food? And why are they so angry? How keen they are to smash stuff up! Who's leading these people? They're doing a poor job. You'd almost wonder (yes, thank you Aangirfan) if the point of the exercise wasn't now to discredit the opposition and make the current unelected fellow look like a peace-making good guy. But who knows? If only we had some means of finding out what the majority of the people wanted.

Oh, oh, what's that pinging noise? It's that rotten Absentometer™ wondering where the democracy-loving West's calls for a fresh election are. This current leader is unelected. Why are we not insisting he set a timetable for elections? We do this all the time. In Madagascar just lately, when that new fellow (and boy does the West hate him!) declared that elections would be held within whatever timeframe it was we were outraged. Not good enough! It must be sooner! That's us, The West - Champions of Democracy! Except in Thailand. There, we withhold our demands for elections. And quite right too. Since the Thais kept getting it wrong best we just skip it. The only thing you need to remember is that we are the good guys. Huzzah! Huzzah! We are always right!

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Never mind the Absentometer™ - it's a tricky beast to tune. And arguably you don't need it since it only functions as a means of confirmation anyway. Really, everything you need to know about any given foreign leader's status as villain or hero can be seen by how we in the debt-peon West variously congratulate or condemn them. If our bought-and-sold leaders clap their hands like a line of performing seals, you know that they're applauding a fellow who's every bit as owned as they are. The lackeys all congratulate each other. And whomever our leader/lackeys condemn and warrant as worthy of economic strangulation, old-style starvation, or out-and-out death-from-above destruction, must clearly be someone with more cojones and independence than they'll ever have.

I reckon it's as simple as that.